Why cant

I just need to be better, they're so wrong, I'm good and I'm glad that I had improved! I can't type fast enough, my mind has been lazy these days, it's slow and unresponsive as hell! I can't improve this part, I don't know if I can, maybe it's just some excuses, I get mad over anything now! That's not what I wanted! Maybe I should quit this part, I'm just growing out of it but still! Isn't it a bit unnatural, I can't at all! I forgot my topic, not really, I never thought of it at first, it's like a chore! I hate it but I have to do it and I do want it to be part of my personality! So the people will compliment, saying it's a good thing but those good things are so damn boring! I don't even have anything to complain about! And when I tried to, it just becomes slop like this! It's not good enough, not at all! I am clueless! That's who I am!! Clueless!