i am the world

everything feels so awful and i don't understand why. where will i be in ten years? will i be here? a chronically online loser? i don't understand how everyone is moving on. living life. i feel like i am stuck drowning and watching leaves fall while i don't really move forward. there's too much pain to do anything about. idk. i straight up don't like myself and i do not believe i deserve to have friends. i'm so undeserving.