bipolar or dependant on men's love??

i was feeling really depressed. i felt really crowded and suffocated. just horrible and like this sunken feeling in my head and chest. i felt unloved, and icky. it genuinely felt like the most horrible feeling in the world, though im not describing it well. some days, I feel this way. depressed. but when i'm depressed, it feels really really bad. I don't talk or move or eat or drink or say anything. im paralyzed and my head pounds from crying. then, all the sudden, my boyfriend texts me back. i instantly stood up, and a smile appeared on my face. im so happy, I feel like im floating. him texting me means he though of me, was excited to see my text, and therefore he loves me and thinks I am the most perfect person on earth. I love him, he's my angel baby. but then I realized my mood switch. is it because i'm bipolar or was I just sad because I thought my boyfriend didn't love me. this happens a lot by the way. but most of the time, a knight in shining armor doesn't sweep me off my depressive state. I just stay that way. and rot. and the next moment, I am totally fine. I don't like saying I'm bipolar though, because I feel like a fraud. I feel like im saying it in a "sofia coppola girl interrupted femcel Lana del rey" way, because the internet has deleted it in that way. I just feel confused. I feel crazy. why am I like this? I don't wanna be like this.