Lost my chances

Yesterday my mother told me that she won't give me a computer anymore, and the computer is still falling apart, but it's really bothering me, like, I was going to use that piece of crap for everything, since I still don't work and I'm too discouraged to study and do commissions, there's no way I can earn money to buy any old used computer, maybe if I sell some books and some clothes I can get some extra cash 

She has reasons for not giving it to me, we had already resolved those reasons, but it seems like she doesn't care if I apologize and try to improve, so the way is to sell my things