Venting about my anxiety disorder lol

Do you remember how I said that anxiety is ruining my life? Well it’s like that today. I need help so badly. My anxiety never got better I just became scared about different things. Today I was shaking so hard and I was so lost and I KEPT getting lost and to make matters worse this was all going on way past 3 pm when I was supposed to meet her. I got there on time!! but between not knowing where I was, having to get a day pass taking time up and being sent on a wild goose chase by people at the gate it was nearly 4 by the time I texted her apologizing for the millionth time and asking to reschedule. I was so sick. Physically sick. It’s way more than ‘in my head.’ I cried on the way home and then when I got home I was sick from how bad I felt today. I’m shaking again as I type all this. She wants me to call her tomorrow and I feel this awful dread about doing it all over again and this job. I need professional help so badly. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m terrified of the littlest things and I know I’ll never be normal. I’m so tired of myself. It’s exhausting. I hate being scared. I’ve been unemployed for two years because of this shit.