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it's been almost 3 months that i have insomnia, to be honest i'm feeling really tired. i tried to hide it from my parents but turned out they caught me still being awake at midnight, they start getting worried about me but of course they always blaming all of this because the phone. i always struggle to sleep at night, i've been already drinking less coffee and nothing is working. is it because i stressed too much over people around me? yeah, maybe.
i've been trying to distract myself to not get stressed by finding peace, talking to new people, got some new friends, try to find new interest, and try to be more grateful for being the way i am. but this thing won't let me fall asleep that easily at night, making me blankly staring at the ceiling while thinking about everything that i have done. like, does it really matter? finding peace and something like that.. does it really matter? it feels like all my efforts went in vain. this thing keep haunting me and make me feel drained almost every single day. my eyes. it feels heavy.
it feels like i just want to bawl my eyes out, but i can't. it's just like there's something holding between my eyes and didn't let me to let it out. maybe it’s the words that got stuck in my head "men don’t cry." yeah, thanks, dad and the frickin society too. i'm tired holding myself up, i have some kinda issues with myself for like.. 10 months? and it keep getting worst day by day. i just wish there could be something that make me end this suffering. and i keep waiting and waiting but i guess.. it turn out to be more worse. so now it feels like there are 2 options, keep waiting or just die. but if i wait who knows right? what if i keep waiting and something good could happen to me?? yes, i'm trying to believe in that. but too bad, i was waiting for so long and nothing happened.
this is most likely what causes me to have insomnia. my eyes are burning and my body feel so heavy, sad that i can't just sleep and run away from the reality.
16/05/2025
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Dio
Man I love reading your blogs I'm glad I met you.
that means a lot, really. thank u for reading my stuff :))
by bleakangel; ; Report
Dio
I can’t believe your parents are blaming everything on your phone. Sure the phone may not be good for you, but it is never just the phone, it's not that simple. People can have phones and still be happy & healthy.
Every emotion you feel is valid. Crying is your body processing your negative emotion, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. It sucks what the society is teaching boys. If I ever have a son, I will let him cry as much as he wants in my arms.
I know you didn’t ask for my advice but let me pass down what my psychiatrist advised me for insomnia that worked for me (totally up to you if u wanna use them):
- Doesn’t matter what time you fall asleep: force yourself to wake up at the same every day. (To make your body think: “I HAVE to fall asleep right now since I won’t get to sleep in the morning” during bed time)
- Take a morning walk everyday to get your body exposed to the morning sun. (This will help with your body clock)
- Do not shower before 1-2 hours before bed (to avoid getting energetic)
- Do not eat before 1-2 hours before bed (so your body can focus on quality sleep instead of digesting food)
- Do not use any electronic devices from 1-2 hours before bed (to avoid your brain and eyes getting excitement)
- When you can fall asleep, do not go on any electronic devices: Instead do something a little more mundane like reading a book. Do these mundane activity outside of your bed, and go back to bed when you start to feel like you might be able to sleep again. (Do this to associate going to bed with falling asleep)
- Melatonin gummies to force yourself to fall asleep.
- If you can't help but use electronic devices during night time, wear blue light glasses.
And also, can’t forget warm milk with honey when trying to sleep :)))
I know you probably stressed tf out rn. Sadly it’s a slow process and it takes effort and tiny bit of luck to end insomnia…hope you find ways to work this out :(
For the sixth advice, I meant to say "when you can'T fall asleep"
by Dio; ; Report
this is… a lot. but in a good way. i didn’t expect such a detailed response, but i’m really grateful for it. i'm gonna give it a try! thank you for all this, i needed it :)
by bleakangel; ; Report
It's my honor
by Dio; ; Report
ｄｅａｔｈˡᵉᵗᵗᵉʳᶻ ☆
insomnia sucks my guy :( if youre stressing just ask yourself one question 'can you do anything about it?' if yes, why worry? if no, why worry? either way its gonna be okay, dont overthink it. whenever you stare at the ceiling, try not to focus on negative thoughts that much but dont focus on positive thoughts as well. try to have random shower thoughts as thoughts to stare at the ceiling. if that wont help, perhaps try a new hobby - cooking, skating, dancing, whatever you always wanted to try but never had any motivation too. trust me it really helps a lot when it comes to negative thoughts and calms you down like 70/80% of the time. suicide is never an answer to anything and its likely that you will regret it the moment it begins. take care
️
thank you for this. i don’t really know what else to say but it means a lot that you took time to write all that.
i’ll try doing what you said, even if it's hard to stay away from the heavy thoughts sometimes. really, thank you again. i’ll try to hang in there.
by bleakangel; ; Report