15.05.2025 Thursday

01:38

you are the leveret,

you are the lover where the yarrow grows,

i will be awakened, no longer i am puppeted

strung from your instrument, 

rather from her fingers

dearest as she was, she never saw me silent

silence, I won't go far, I promise

candles for a start, now here i am, at my brightest

win or wound me with a kiss, find me where the lark is

find me where the yarrow grows, I will be awakened

no longer i am puppeted, strung from her instrument

rather from her fingers, dearest as she was

she never saw me at my brightest, 

however, when that happens,

pray to never

take

accidentally blocked off the vents in the bathroom. hard to breathe, tbh. said hi to amino. bros going to school. I sent him a picture of a raven and a fox hanging out in the snow. He agreed that it's us, frfr.

18:47

Oh boy. Oh, that was.. I didn't know one could do that.

Amino offered to make me food, bring me candy, introduce me to friends. He's so safe and warm, and I feel I am expected to be paying nothing. I can find stability without needing to stay, without being expected to hold any more than im willing. This is a guy I can stay for, for a little while. No promises, but a deeply running feeling of loyalty.

When I meet him - if, i meet him - I won't show him silly voices or puppy behaviors. Ill be cold and distant in word. Ill make him breakfast in the morning, one I bought ingridients for myself. Ill leave without warning or explanation, only a well-decorated pancake and a side of scrambled eggs. He can stay by me, but I won't engage in yippy conversation. Ill analyse him as I do all others, and ill say nothing unless its important. My tail would wag, but my face would stay serious.

Oh I am so in love with this guy, aren't I

gonna hope he never has to hear it, only feel it.