I do not wana know

When will this all end, when will the people leave, when will I turn numb again, like when I was a kid, not knowing a thing! The freedom is gone I can't live without worrying the unknowns of myself and others, it makes everyday a bad day! Changes will happen, I don't know what it is, how it will affect me, how it would've ended if it did! People wish for happiness and luck, I do not believe in getting what I wanted without years of work, and even after years of dedication, it might as well not actually work! Because I'm just unlucky! It either you are just bad at keeping yourself alive or just unlucky! I need to grow up and get out of this phase, once I have too much work and focus on mature stuff, it will make me forget about all this, all this!