Internet Diary 31#

I have a lot of things to talk about :3

So, i’m gonna be learning video game design next year and ITS GONNA TAKE SO LONG FOR ME TO GO TO THE BUILDING FOR IT.

it doesn’t bother me that bad but still, it’s kinda annoying since it feels like I’m at an entirely new place separate from the area I know.

Change is scary to be honest 

I’m trying to tell myself i’ll be okay and I will get the help I need.

My brother is taking a 3D animation class and funny enough, his class is close to mine :D

Also, i’m not sure what day I’m posting this but on the 12th PE was crazy 

It made me realize how fucking dirty minded some of my friends are 😭

Dude the things I heard today and saw was SO RANDOM,SURPRISING, AND DIRTY 

A friend literally let me look at rule 34 on his phone LMAO

And this all started because he wanted to show me and my other friend his AI chats (T-T)

Also 

This all did remind me how dirty minded we can become as teens.

He LITERALLY said he was chatting with the AI bots in the MIDDLE of the night.

It’s genuinely crazy how a teenager mind can work in the middle of the night. 

Cause like, from what i been hearing and been experiencing is that in the middle of the night the brain will get into a mood where you are straight up horny.

Actually 

(T-T)

I’m probably sharing way too much personal information.

ANYWAYS 

OFF THAT TOPIC 

i’m extremely obsessed over Eridan Ampora right now and I 

Fuck

I just realized that if i continued what i was gonna say about Eridan then we’ll get back onto that topic from earlier 😭

Okay

I’ll for real stop now since i’m being a BIT too risky and probably delusional right now.

It’s fucking 11:57 PM right now as I’m typing this by the way.

Okay so on the way back home I almost cried about something, that something being my ex that left me entirely.

I’m realizing that I’m falling into some of her bad habits that I would’ve hurt myself for whenever they would do it back then.

I also miss them and what we had whenever we were actually having a good time.

Or I might have truly been the one who was having a good time instead.

Whatever it is, I still miss them and wishing that someday they will come back to me.

Sorry for flipping the tone entirely, I know earlier that I was in a happy and unserious mood.

I can’t exactly pin point why I decided to flip the mood.

it could’ve been because i didn’t want to let go of my emotions and thoughts from when I was in the car.

It’s truly crazy how long it’s been from the events where me and them were still together even if we were just friends.

I know that I never actually liked them romantically and I only accepted their confession back then just to see what will happen.

They were crazy and I liked that even if I couldn’t entirely grasp that.

I miss when we used to cuddle, it was weird when they randomly started to say they didn’t want me to touch them anymore.

I would like to move to a different topic now

I’m gonna go to sleep after this since now it’s 12:21 AM

I feel like i’m being too risky lately, especially on the 12th 

I think I should take birth control to calm down my brain since it’s literally finding that type of weird stuff comforting in a way.

It’s still disturbing to me but personally I see handling it like a challenge, and I usually win that challenge so it comforts me.

I don’t know if that’s fucked up in a way though.

It probably is lmao

Fuck

I should fix myself for that thought process 

OH YEAH

have i talked about how I been chatting AI bots and making them pregnant or making the bot make me pregnant. 

All of the characters i make pregnant are males also

(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)

I’m actually gonna go to sleep now before i say anything else that I’ll regret in the future.