Day 24 of eating a steady diet of media

I kinda feel like taking a HUUUUGGEEE shit. Sorry. Sorry if anyone's eating, my humblest apologies, I canr apologize enough for potentially ruining your meal but I've been slacking in the dietary department. I need to sleep early like in the next hour or so. May need to skip my Celeste. So let me see what I can fit in...

Advanced calculations - sooo let's see, I write this blog, I read long halloween, I do my dles I watch always sunny I sleep. Okay. Cool!! All sorted. I think I got distracted or something oh no right I was supposed to do the dishes but my mom never called me back so I was waiting the whole time and I never did. Damn. So I spent that time doing nothing when I could've read a few pages of a book or something. I have two books at all times. My passive read and active read. I give them both the same amount of attention so maybe primary and secondary read is better. Primarily I have a book where the goal is to finish it, I give it most of my time and that's what I read in long stretches at a time then my secondary book is one I'm reading whenever I find free time and I've tried getting into the habit of swapping out twitter scrolling with my secondary read. 

Yummy! I'm so full from consuming media - so let's talk about my reads. Primary read is the odyssey by Homer and I'm really enjoying it. I'm almost done, I've got a hundred or so pages left and then my secondary read is the deficit myth and it's about some of the misconceptions about the economy and one thing they mention in that book is that countries use fearmongering for certain economic things that people don't fully understand. Like they know we don't grasp fully the state of the country's economy, it's not our job but they take advantage of the fear of the unknown. Highly recommend the deficit myth. Watched Venture Bros too, two episodes one that was like really existential and horrifying. And another that was just fun, the fun one had doctor girlfriend she's the best character. She's a woman but she's got a deep voice, that's not really a big but tbh, ik a few trans women who don't voice train and I don't see them as any less than women for it but it's cute that a lot of trans people connect to Dr girlfriend. She's cool. OH YEAH! yesterday's always sunny episodes. They were crazy. Okay I'm going to only share one plot beat from each because it's too crazy. The Gang gets held hostage by an incestuous family in one episode and in the next Dennis Mac and Charlie terrorize two college students in an effort to make more friends. 

Casino - I remembered my love for cards again because I saw this interesting video on how people cheat in casinos and I learned a lot. Casino is actually very accurate... of course. Marty is super accurate with his Mob movies. Yk the mobster is often this super caricatured archetype nowadays but damn I love seeing a real accurate portrayal on screen. Casino is my favorite Scorsese btw. It's stunning, it's moving, it's insane. Damn. Actually a hypnotic movie, like the flashing lights, the opulence the luxury all juxtaposed with these acts of violence and criminality, both of which the main character needs to stay afloat, he needs to run a good Casino but he needs to keep the wise guys happy. I need to rewatch. I'm thinking of writing a story about someone trying to beat the house in a Mob owned Casino, I'm talking mafia golden age, I'm talking cheaters getting their hands beat with hammers, I'm talking old fashioned but I want my stories to be timeless you know? So like it's not in a specific time, it's in its own pocket of time which merely borrows heavily from specific periods.

Got carried away!! Whoops!!! But again I didn't really do much today... uhh idk what else to say

ILove ICarly - I've been watching this long video on ICarly and it's so easy to watch I love it and I love his commitment to ICarly, I wish I was that committed to something, I wrote about it in my diary and it's something I put on and I can't turn off it's so addictive I'm over halfway done already, that guy knows how to structure a video, I watch it every chance I get.

Shopping 2 - I don't know why but I always fall asleep in cars and its only in cars too. Anyway I went shopping after my nap, just bought a few things. I'm thinking of getting a Bic lighter. It's good to have one I think and if I had to have one I'd choose Bic. Bic is like the best lighter you can get, I'm telling you. Listen to me and listen good, if you ever need a lighter, if you smoke if you do pot, if you just need it for other reasons, if you like candles... GET BIC!! Understand? Okay! Glad we're on the same page! 

Tomorrow - I didn't get to talk to weedman today unfortunately but tomorrow I'm going with sis to the mall and we're going to look at some music stuff and what nots and do dads. Yk how it is. I'm excited! Obviously I can't see him tomorrow, I don't want to take my sister she knows already but it's more I don't want her to be used to it. Like you don't make your child fetch you beers or cigarettes, you don't want that to be a common item in their hand yk? 

Rambles - oh yeah I was thinking about this today and I'm sorry for bringing this up, it's a tiny bit explicit, I try not to be on this blog but like you can skip to the recommendation section if you want to. It's not that bad. So Anyway, I was in the kitchen, I was cleaning and that's a meditative experience. Before I'd opened twitter and I saw like full ass. And I realized I'm a lot more attracted to men than I am to women. Like it was a woman's ass, she's a body builder I follow for fitness advice anyway, the pic did fluster me but I realized like I thought I was a lot more attracted to women and I think yk how people confuse attraction for allyship like let's say someone says they're going to save the hot Latinas from deportation, that's not allyship, that's them being attracted to Latinas. I think I got that the other way around, I am still attracted to women but I think in some instances what I thought was attraction was allyship. Idk attraction is interesting to me, as you all know I do experience sexual attraction but I don't engage with it but sexual attraction to me is very motivated by politics. It's kinda complicated but ig I develop opinions on things in that field less on my own feelings and more on my beliefs. Idk this interests me like I know a few trans women who engage more with their gender identity than their sexuality which is most of them but there's some who engage with their sexuality more and I don't pry, it's not my business but it's interesting! Which do I engage more with? I can't really say. To me being non binary doesn't change my attraction like no matter how thick the slice, it's rainbow on the inside yk? Am I making sense? Also I don't mean to exclude trans men! I just don't meet a lot unfortunately, if you're trans masc and you're like "Moth what about me?" You're like a part of a handful, I talk to trans women on the daily. I don't know how I meet them all I JUST DO! I've never met an enby offline icl... interesting... Anyway how do you engage with orientation and gender identity??? I'm curious

Recommendation - I want to recommend A Steady Diet of Nothing by Fugazi. It's not their best, it's just alright but it's really fun!! Give it a listen fugazi is one of the best phc bands ever. Just tap in. The standout song, I'd say is Long Division.

Anyway good night chat!! Have a wonderful evening