The friendship paradox.

Blog ~ Diary 

The friendship Contract.

5/11/25

The friendship contract. The invisible contract every person signs before they become more than strangers but less as friends. The glue that binds another persons life with good and bad. The ability to form a miracle or a life sentence. I'LL STOP BEING DRAMATIC NOW!! Although its way more fun that way...KIDDING! (not kidding) Friendship is a lot for different people! It can be fun and happy for some, or terrifying and nerve-wracking for others. For me..It's a risk I've learned to take. I see strangers as friends I haven't made yet which sounds crazy in hindsight but trust me okay? Imagine walking past someone who MAY look insanely terrifying but what if you guys can both bond over your love for puppies!! That's my life motto:

"Illegal is just a funny word in the dictionary, live life to your fullest."

It's that or I'm just fucking insane. On a serious note in a world where social media holds sway on the notion of self is both fragile and ever-changing, TEENAGE friendships can be a source of both immense joy and whimsy and silent suffocating pain. They are a balancing act between trust and betrayal, connection and isolation, comfort and fear. 

 There is a certain kind of loneliness that exist in the midst of a constant digital presence. With Instagram reels, Tiktok clips, Snap streaks and Twitter threads teens are always connected to the media and ALWAYS visible--but in this visibility, there lies a paradox. Freindships, in their purest realm often forces relationships to exist in the fleeting, surface level moments where connections are quantified by likes and comments rather than meaningful conversations. Most the kids I see that are sustaining a popularity status post bikini photos in the park, exposing as much as they can or overall oversharing the complexity of their delinquent lives as much as they possibly can. (which I'm doing right now but really I'm not delinquent just a wannabe writer and composer..) The disconnect between the online and offline personas is a source of tremendous pressure, and it's easy to feel lost in the maze of avatars and filters. I always felt like I was looking at those mirror mazes where its you but all distorted whenever I opened social media. I would see myself, then I would see all the contorted delusions I can become to be. ANd sometimes you end up falling in love with a delusion instead of the reality of the fact of who you are. (I hope that made sense) Most of the time I like the filter more than me, but this is a structured blog we had a rantish one like 2 blogs ago. The pressure to be perfect, to meet expectations, to never let anyone down, is overwhelming. But the truth is, no one is perfect, (GO READ TOXIC TRAITS) and mistakes are inevitable. Still, those mistakes, when magnified by the scrutinizing eyes of friends and social media, can feel catastrophic. A simple misstep, a misunderstood comment, or a failed promise can escalate into an emotional war.

 Words, once spoken, echo in the halls of memory, and trust, once broken, is a hard thing to repair. Even more so, teens are often forced to navigate an ENTIRE world of emotional dynamics without the life experience to truly understand the depth of feeling they're encountering. Jealousy, insecurity, love, and competition..these emotions, when amplified by the pressures of modern life and society can warp friendships in ways they're not prepared to handle. (talking from experience) Friendship, then, becomes a delicate dance..one misstep, one moment of thoughtlessness and BOOM the relationship can teeter on the edge. And the terrifying thing is that sometimes, there's no way to repair the damage. No one tells you that friendships can leave scars. But they do. They can break you. 

 Yet for all the pitfalls and anxieties, friendship also holds moments of incredible beauty and warmth. When it works, when it clicks, it is a force that transcends time, space and circumstance. True friendship offers the kind of connection that reminds us what being alive is really all about. There are late night phone calls, where laughter fills the air despite the silence of the hour. The inside jokes that no one else understands but that instantly bonds two souls. The moments of vulnerability, when one confides in another their deepest fears and dreams , and instead of judgement, they find empathy. The friend who stays up late with you when the world feels too heavy, the friend who doesn't judge your flaws but instead embraces them, the friend who supports you even when they're struggling too-- they are the one who shape you in ways that go beyond words.

 MY PERSONAL FEARS:

I feel as though I've been too general and talked about OTHER teens but really this is MY blog and MY page so here are some personal takes about me and why friendship is terrifying. 

1. Is rather personal but I have deep attachment issues. Whenever I get really close to someone I get overly attached and dependent on that person. That means I let them dictate my mood, my rule, and my agency without second thought. Am I trying to recover from this? DUH DOIIII?!?!?! You think being mad because your best friend is upset at you and letting that dictate how you are towards others is fun? It's not.

2. The more people you let into your life the more can walk right out. I know I wrote about my toxic traits on my other "toxic traits" blog but I really wanna be vulnerable and come to terms with different aspects with myself through this public journaling process. When I form a group I tend to execute myself from my previous groups because I like where I am. Does that mean I push others away? Maybe? Does that mean I do it on purpose? Never. I never mean to push away people I just work in the way of "the more friends the merrier." That until high-school atleast. Guys I'm gonna say it..I used to be a DICK before the first day of freshman year. I was a complete asshole but hey..people grow and people change and the best thing about getting older is learning from your past. SO instead of going "I should've known"..I went "Now I know and can use this for future references." 

3. I'm a hopeless romantic. Yes, it's true I'm a sucker for love and mostly end up crushing on a few of my friends (NOT A LOT-- just when I feel like the connection and the person is right and everything would work out.) and I know that sucks but I usually never ask them out. Instead I pine and watch as one of my other friends get interested and set them up instead. It's a miracle it's happened to me 4 times now!! I'm not trying to make it "oohhh feel bad for me, ohhh im so alone and have to set my crushes up with other people.." which now that I put it like that.. 

4. I have no four. HAIII!! 

 Modern teen friendships are a paradox. They can be overwhelming, confusing, and painful but they can also be the most rewarding relationship a person will experience. (I love you "That one Nerd" -you know who you are AND "sugar daddy" (not actually) and "a + L" my two female besties I love you both. In a world that is changing at an unprecedented pace, where the pressure to fit in and be likes is ALL-CONSUMING, it's easy to forget that true friendship doesn't rely on perfection. It's messy, it's flawed, it's real. Okay, that concludes todays yap session/blog if you came this far DM me a strawberry or kudo or comment! If you have any feedback or anything my DMS are always open. ONWARDS AND OUT!!