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So basically I had a trip today with the Hebrew Culture Club, and this one guy literally PLANNED to sit by me on the train, helped me find a rabbi in this g-dforsaken country since he literally, just like me, wants to convert, comforted me when I got unjustly fined in a tram (basically my ticket was overdue by like 1-2 minutes and the machines were broken so I COULDN'T buy a new one and this B&TCH sorry I'm angry still fined me knowing damn well I'm literally just a university student, I'm thinking of making an appeal since I have witnesses who knew the machines were broken), bought me a flower and when we were back we literally ran down the street screaming in Hebrew LOL, maybe I am lovable after all but let's not get my hopes up
I'm still pissed about this person on the tram though. Why don't they check bums who leave their stench over the whole vehicle?! And also the fines are ridiculously high. Who did I hurt by not being able to renew my ticket? You guessed it: no one. Yet I'm expected to pay like 100 times the amount of what this distance was actually worth. As a college student. SHE SAW MY ID. College students aren't really the richest you know? I'm literally so pissed. HOW THE HELL DO THESE PEOPLE EVEN HAVE THE RIGHT TO FINE SOMEONE WHEN THEY CLEARLY CAN'T BUY A NEW TICKET?! THE MACHINES WERE BROKEN, I HAVE WITNESSES. Really, they should check the bums instead since they are always stinky and probably never pay for their rides, that would discourage them from leaving their alcohol stench all over the tram. But yeah, I saw many people telling similar stories where they fine poor students for their ticket being a minute overdue.
I'm not really that poor (I'm a scholar) but I'm still afraid of going broke now. Probably trauma because I WAS poor in the past. But damn, why does life have to be so unfair?
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Claraa_x3
Waht ToT thats so shitty damn <\3 sorry this happened to u smhh
But also hey that guy seems pretty cool yay also I'm sure u are lovable, just try to not overthink these shit too much and just go for what makes u happy and hang out with ppl who are good for u!!
Yeah I know, I'm just trying not to get attached to the idea he might be the one & maybe even fall in love. What my romantic trauma gave me is that now I am capable of NOT falling in love until I learn the other person is in love with me, so I'm safe. But I just had this idea that I am unfixable, unlovable, that I ain't ever gonna find a person who would fit me, especially as a believer in Judaism living in Poland. But maybe, after all, it is possible.
by xxPawlinaPoisonxx [safe space <3]; ; Report
I kinda get you on this actually, i have some trauma with relationships as well and i dont let myself get too attached. But its ok to enjoy ur time with someone special even without getting attached to the idea of a relationship,, just leaving these things aside and enjoying ur time together as in a normal and simple stress free friendship. Might be hard actually but I hope ur able to build a real trustful friendship with him, and that ur able to accept the love (even if platonic) from the people around you :]
by Claraa_x3; ; Report
Mugi(ʘᴗʘ✿)
I'm sorry this happened
I'm just so scared of going broke and having to ask my parents for money. Would probably have to tell them about my religion (I don't want to).
by xxPawlinaPoisonxx [safe space <3]; ; Report