Journal #52

I woke up today at 5 A.M. missing someone who hasn't been in my life for about two years. It's weird because I don't usually think about her anymore, but I couldn't help but remember her and cry a little. I think it's because Instagram keeps showing me ads for this ramen spot we went to one of the last times we ever spoke to each other. It also has her name on it, so the association would be there regardless. She was one of the few girl friends I had after middle school and she got me into doing makeup the short time I was into it. It doesn't suit me. And I think too much of her when I see it. 

I'm not sure what to do today, but tomorrow, Boyfriend's hosting an event I've been helping him out with. It doesn't seem like people are as excited as they were the first time, which frightens me a bit. I want nothing more than for this to work out for him. But hopefully, it's just my nerves because I have to live DJ again which is always nerve wracking. I can pick and chose which mix to upload, but live, I have to key match and if the songs don't mix well it sounds muddy and weird. I don't know. I'll practice more today and see what I can do, but I'm a bit scared. 

That's it, I think.