I don't believe in God.

Blog ~ Diary

I don't believe in God.

5/8/25

I don't believe in God. I grew up in a household where religion was split on the fence. On one side I would go to church and sit playing on my grandmothers phone for 4 hours, listening to our black pastor spray words that were forced upon our ancestors. Sweating down the tears of those before us who were forced to recite, believe, breathe in a religion that was never ours. A telltale that was never ours to tell but whipped so hard into our memory it became like second nature to us. But when I sat down on that pew I would see women fainting from the "holy spirit", crying out for the lord. Soon my grandmother stopped taking me to church at the ripe age of 11 or 12. I like to think that her ancestors were sick of her spending her lovely hours praying to a god who would never answer her prayers. 

 The other side of the fence was my mom. My mother was always non-religious growing up. Or atleast I didn't see her blatant beliefs at first. I was a blind naive child and I still am but growing up I believed everything. Including that there was little white man sitting in the sky waiting for me to go to paradise! And if im bad..a evil RED man is going to be down there waiting for me in NOT paradise. TERRIFYING!! But I believed it. And I put my trust and problems and would get on my knees at night to worship some mystery guy in the sky who can't even come down to support his "children". WE are supposed to call HIM our father and he can't even take responsibility to help us. "BUt the LoRd Is WiThin!" Sure..and don't even get me STARTED on Jesus. Let me tell you a little something you probably don't know about "The Bible."

 The Bible created "1400 BC" but really was 1611 when King James allowed 47 white scholars to compose the first translation of the bible. "King" James was a homosexual, a slave trader, and a serial rapist. He also COMMISIONED the King James Bible you read today. It's funny because people just never got suspicious of the fairytale. You mean to tell me you ACTUALLY believe a man turned water into wine and then flew up in the sky next to some white man after he died. Religion is made out of fear, and confusion and despair. You want something to believe in. Being King James if he had THIS..a bible named after him oh brother thats all the power he NEEDS. Religion stops us from living life to the fullest, it stops up from being happy and focus on the constructs of words written by liars. If living is a sin, then I don't want to do right. I don't want to follow rules my whole life only for my only regret "to be free". I don't want to just die to wish I did more than follow a white mans words. 

 The basis of religion is to gain control and power over people so they are inferior to you. Its a control mechanism that's old as day. If I had one question to ask any ancestor from the past it would be who did we worship? Did we worship the sea and sun as a god like the Navajo? Or did we practice peace and focus like the Buddhist in Asia? Or did we devote our souls to a scripture hand written hundreds of years ago like main 4 religions. Luckily, I don't need that question as much as I thought..Allow me to tell you about Ifa! (MY current religion)

 "Damn Waffle..you're talking a lot of game I thought you wouldn't be religious." Well remember my mom. She was very NOT religious growing up but now that I opened my eyes I see it all. We have altars, an ancestor alter, (that is gorgeous and has drinks, money, food occasionally, flowers, offerings and more) an abundance alter, (shorter than the rest but has green to represent money with crystals and candles and jars with coins in which she would do her occasional jingle that would go like this. 

Money Tree song-

"CHING CHING CHING GOES THE MONEY TREE AND EVERY TIME IT CHING MONEY COMES TO ME! IT ALL FLOWS IN SO ABUNDANTLY! FROM THE TOP LEFT RIGHT AND UP UNDER ME!!" (2x)

I thought she was INSANE. Then I realized the love alter and my favorite to be real is the one upstairs that she places in my room with a long mermaid. It's a symbol for my middle name "Iara" (Ya-ra) who's very known in Brazil for being a lady of the lake. She's a awesome badass mermaid who would lure you in with her voice and murder you. (Mostly men after her brothers killed her AFTER saving them.) So she swam with the fishes after she was dead and was transformed into the first ever mermaid of man-kind. She's extremely popular in Black and Brazilian culture of South America and used as a fear tactic in Europe, which I LOVE because it is used to scare white people hehe. Around the symbol were three figures, Ogun, (deity of iron, war, hunting, craftsmanship) Yemaya, (deity and mother of the Ocean) and Oshun (deity of the river!! and a pretty awesomely sweet person!!) These are the Orishas. The Orishas are a collection of deities that rule different aspects of the world and are what stem through the original western African religion "Ifa". Ifa was practiced and worshipped until the Trans-Atlantic slave trade when it got spread to various parts of the world. It then became Santeria from Latin countries, Candomble in Brazil, (where I'm from but I practice Santeria!!) and Vodou and Hoodoo In New Orleans. You've most def seen it before in modern media before like in "Princess in the Frog" or "Eves Bayou" though these are NEGATIVE examples..The actual religion is truly beautiful..You reader, I want you to look up "Ifa ceremony." They're truly beautiful. 

I'm not saying I hate Christans. I'm not saying I hate god. I'm not saying Ifa (and the variations) are superior. BUT I am giving my perspective of how I grew up and how religion affected that. Okay, that concludes todays yap session/blog if you came this far DM me a strawberry or kudo or comment! If you have any feedback or anything my DMS are always open. ONWARDS AND OUT!!