I wish I did this for her...

Sometimes I wonder if someday we'll reconnect and talk again with her.

There are so many things I want to tell her.

Not only that I love her and stuff but also my life.

When something interesting happens I instantly imagine myself telling it to her.

For example, recently went to visit my grandparents. I was with ripped jeans that day and they thought that a dog or something ripped my jeans lololol.

We'd have laughed soooo hard at that bro.

WDYM A DOG BROOO, IS IT THE FIRST TIME U SEE RIPPED JEANS :DDD

Jokes aside though, they just don't know any better so not making fun of them.

Sometimes I think though. Even if we get back together, will things ever be the same? I want them to be. And I will love her, that's for certain but I don't know.

Maybe she has/will change during the time we are not together.. and I'm scared that it won't be for good..

I'm so dissapointed in myself, I wasn't able to protect her.. She was my girl and I was a fucking dumbass, she was the best thing I could have ever asked for. I prayed for a girl like her. But no, I, the intelligent and smart guy that I think I am fucked things up like a fucking idiot.

It was hard dude, it was hard being with her sometimes. And sometimes I didn't see it getting any better. But that's my fault. It's up to me to fix things. Because I could. I would have been able to. Every problem has a solution. Maybe it's somewhere burried deep, maybe it's a sequence of solutions you have to go through it finally solve it.

But there was a fucking solution. And I didn't try hard enough for her. I didn't fail myself but I also failed her. And I'll have to carry that with my life moving forward.

I only wish that she knew how much I love her. Because of how things ended she probably thinks I don't even love her and never have.

At least I wish that she knew what we had was real. That's yet again, my fault though.

I don't know how to end this off to be honest.

Bye.