Log03 - 05/07/25

I've been stressed about work. I'm a kennel tech at an animal clinic, which definitely sounds cool. Sometimes it is. Been working there since February 2024. Wanted something steady and something with purpose. I kinda take it back now! Clinic environments are so damn stressful. Cross training as a vet tech is so damn stressful. Handling random people's beloved sick and dying animals is so damn stressful. Like oh my god bro. I should have gotten a stupider job. But I fear I'll lose and miss all benefits I DO currently have there. So lemme hash this out.

Pros:

• health, dental, vision insurance
• coworkers and mgmt I do not hate
• my buddy Megan
• I get to keep various organs and fetuses in jars
• steady pay

Cons:

• generally stressful
• mistakes are bigger deals and boy howdy I make them
• Lindsey stresses me tf out
• not a career path i want/plan to move up in
• frequent feeling of not being good enough and being too burnt out to care at points

Now how much of this is ME and how much of this can be fixed by another workplace? 

My ultimate goal has been to become a professional photographer. I have a few big gigs coming up this month, which I am hoping could be an opening to some more avenues. Maybe I could end up being part time at the clinic towards the end of the year, if I don't get a different job. Either way I am still trying to stick thru to the end of this year or beginning of next. I don't wanna hop around too quick without a solid game plan. 

Other job ideas floating around have included:

Janitor (similar to parts of my current job, minus the multitudes of animals)

Pet sitting (not steady pay, but between photography and that? hm idk. could be another side gig)

Publix (idk. they might have benefits)

Home Depot (my friend works there)

Harbor Freight (stocking shelves for possibly okay pay?)

Barnes and Noble (yeah idk)

Pizza (.........idk)

IDK idk man idk what to do. Maybe I should keep doubling down on photography and see where that goes, then maybe do something or my current thing part time. I just want answers STAT but ik that ain't how life works. Just had to put my thoughts somewhere. Tired of the "oh god I gotta get outta here" feeling at the clinic. But would I feel that anywhere? Probably. Fuck my stupid butthole life.