I feel lonelier everyday. I don’t know how I’m getting way more distant from my friends than usual each time I sea them, and my intuition tells me that the people that I seeked validation from no longer think of me as someone’s who’s important to them, they might even be uncomfortable around me. I don’t want to bother my parents to talk about my mental health, and I want online friends who I can have direct contact with. I want people, yet I still push thousands of them away. I want to attract people and make them stay for who I am, but I can’t help but think that I’m the problem here. So I need to turn myself into the better version of myself, and who people want me to be. But I don’t have the motivation to do so, if I’m lacking the people who will give me a lending hand to help myself, then where could I even start? I want to talk to my mom now. I don’t want to go to school anymore, I dislike everyone there. I want to see who’ll look for me, and maybe, just maybe, stay a little longer for them. But I CAN’T just expect everyone to understand and take care of me without CHANGING myself or helping them first, it’s selfish. I want to bottle my feelings up already, and I want professional help. I’ll text my mom later about my mental health, I need her for now. I can’t live if I keep feeling this type of emotion

May 6 2025
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W0RM
It sounds like you're describing depression. It could be neurological or environmental. It would be good to talk to your parents. You may not want to bother them with your problems, but they are your parents and they love you. They'll understand. You're not a burden to anyone, and your problems are just as important as anyone else's.
I felt the same way a while ago, and if you feel this way, there must be a reason. It's just a matter of understanding that reason and working on it.
I hope you feel better, and I wish you the best of luck.
(∩^o^)⊃━☆