kiss it off me

i have this dream where you sleep next to me. your nose whistles when you breathe, and it’s the most precious sound in the world. the skin on your back, which i have only felt through thin t-shirts, is warm; like your hands, like your honey brown eyes, like that smile that makes my mind go fuzzy. i reconstruct this fantasy in my mind time and time again until i’m brought back to reality. i miss you all the time; you do not think about me more than twice a day. i lie to you all the time because you are the most beautiful person i’ve ever met but sincerity sounds wrong falling off my tongue. i want to let myself love you, like a boy loves a boy. all you have is reserved for her. i know i’ll (never) be okay with this. just not tonight.