my first blog post in a while - i hate blogging

  [RECOMMENDED SONG] || marble machine - wintergatan

well then! how do i even begin this? how do i even blog? i don't know!

my intention was to post a photodump of a bunch of pictures i took that i like, but i have a vendetta against spacehey for requiring me to use a 3rd party image hosting site just to post pictures here so i seriously cba to do that for 50+ images just to have to constantly check that the link didn't break or the site didn't sell my photos to shutterstock or some bs

ok but now what?

now! i... don't know. that's kinda why i'm rambling all this junk! i need something to post because i deleted all of my old angsty poems so my blog looked hella empty. hashtag emo phase OVER. nothing against you emos out there but making myself miserable all the time over everything is kinda exhausting i can't imagine being like that any longer than i was

JEEEESUS how do people do blogging professionally, like seriously? it takes a lot to sit in front of a computer and type up articles and paragraphs and posts and whatever else all day for hours every single day. no wonder professional bloggers cover their sites head to toe in ads; it's to cover their therapy costs!

i dunno, i can kinda understand just shutting your brain off and letting yourself ramble on and on for a while, which is what i'm having to do to even get all this stuff out right now, but having this as a job would suck. surely it doesn't pay that much does it? those people have to be secretly working at mcdonalds during their downtime to cover this lifestyle right. brand deals can only get you so far

the 'sitch

so unrelated to my distaste for blogging and disbelief that anyone could actually live off of that, i'm still brainstorming things to write about here. uhh.. rapidfire off the top of my head, what i'm doing right now:

- eating a twix bar (which i really shouldn't be doing, my husband will be home with sushi soon)

- drinking cherry pepsi max (i don't like diet sodas usually but cherry is my favourite flavour so i'll take it where i can get it)

- writing this blog post (can't wait for it to be over)

- waiting for my husband to come home with food and groceries (i am SO hungry, dude)

- watching some guy across the street let his dog dig a hole and kick up dirt under a tree (he probably shouldn't be doing that...)

- begging my dog to stop barking at the big loud machine outside (mardi please you're almost 7 you're too old for this, man)

- half-assedly working on some more mockups for the website i want to make (formally requesting coding help from anyone who is willing to volunteer; my husband is just goofing around and isn't actually making any progress towards the site)

- checking WWF norppalive to see if any seals have hauled out onto the rocks (they have not done so for 3 days now. it's looking bleak, chat)

- checking the zeehondencentrum pieterburen/WEC livestreams for seals instead (they are in fact seals, we're so winning)

- remembering the seal i adopted from aforementioned place (his name is croissant, he has been released already. here's the release video)

- hoping someone will message me on discord so i can have something else to do instead of this (it's not looking too good on that front, almost everyone on my friends list is offline.. it's like only just now becoming 8 AM at the latest for the americans and they make up most of the people i know on discord)

- wondering what that smell is (it's... vaguely manky)

- it's my laptop fan (why is it preparing for takeoff i literally only have 2 applications open. victus you are a weak fool if you can't handle that)

- drinking more pepsi (why is diet soda so much more foamy than regular soda? it's not crispy like regular, it's softer and just... foamy. eugh)

- wondering if i'd ever want to be famous some day (realising i do not)

- upset that out of all 3 things i planted, the basil is the only thing to have sprouted (the chives and habanero peppers are nowhere to be seen. fun fact: the word for chives in finnish is 'ruohosipuli' which means 'grass onion')

- thinking of what other words have fun translations (garlic 'valkosipuli' means 'white onion,' a combination of the words 'valkoinen' for 'white' and 'sipuli' for 'onion'.. they probably came up with that word before they knew garlic was it's own thing and not actually an onion)

- realising the only words i've mentioned are onion themed (onions are alright in my opinion. however i wouldn't eat them raw on their own.. unless they're in 'kermaviilikastike kala' which is what i've only just now learned one of the names for. we just call it crack since there isn't an actually official name for it.. it's just a kind of fish sour cream sauce.. there's dill in it. yum)

- thinking of dill (being reminded of pickles. did you know how hard it is to find proper dill pickles in finland? the only things they have here is these god awful sweet pickles. i hate them so much but they're everywhere! i've only ever been able to find one kind of pickle remotely similar to dill but even then they were weird and soft and fermented...)

- thinking of food (specifically thinking of devil's jam pizza... we had that recently.. it's so good... if i could marry a pizza...)

- remembering i'm still hungry (where is that darn man with my sushi?! hurry up! love you -3-)

- itchy. itchy. itchy. itchy. ITCHY. ITCHY!!!! (I AM ALWAYS ITCHY!!!!!)

- scratching myself with a fork (i'm asking for a back scratcher for christmas)

- realising maybe this list has gone on for too long (time to stop)

so there you have it

my attempt at blogging again for the first time in... 2..? years? i think? i don't know, i don't count the days. let me know in the comments if you like this style of writing. what kind of style you may ask? i don't know. just spewing things directly onto the page in exactly the order it forms in my brain. this is how i talk. this is what a conversation with me would be like. think of that