Future Love

I often think about my future a lot, especially since I'll be going into my Jr year of college. One main thing I think about in my future is marriage. 

I know not everyone gets married, but I have hopes I'll be married to the right guy in my future. I always dreamed about my wedding since I was little, heck, I already know what dress I would want. Sweetheart neckline, ball gown or mermaid style, off the shoulder sleeves, with some bling but not too much.

I've been in my fair share of relationships over the years, most of them ending on a sour note, minus the guy I was seeing last semester, I would still be friends with him. But other actual relationships I had never ended well. They either used me for their own benefit, thought I would cheat on them, they cheated on me, lots of other stuff. Sometimes when I think about those past relationships, I think I'm unlovable.

I tend to make jokes about how I'm unlovable or men not liking me, but deep down, it's how I actually feel. Sometimes I feel like I was never meant to find love or have a soulmate, but I know that it's just taking me time to find my soulmate.

I also believe in the red string theory. If you don't know what that is, it is where two people are connected by a red string, and when the time is right, that string will attract the two souls together, which ends up being your soulmate. Sometimes I sit and wonder when my red string is going to lead me and my soulmate to each other.

The reason this is big on my mind right now is cause I went down a rabbit hole on TikTok watching proposal videos and crying because I find it so sweet. Now when my future husband proposes, I hope he sets it up to make it a really cute out of book/movie scene.