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I mentioned total heartbreak in the first blog, and I have nobody else to rant to, so I'm just gonna yap :3
Long story short, I fell in love, pursued a long distance relationship, and it ended in January. Nearly 5 years. I can't accurately describe all that I felt when it ended, and I don't know if I ever will. I won't get into the details, but it carved a chunk of happiness out of me. One week you're just finishing the year prior with a party and the next, you're alone with a tub of strawberry ice cream. I'm usually the type to help others with their relationships or lives in general, but I couldn't do anything but cry for the first two months. Not even kidding, I cried every day. It was a miracle my eyes didn't stay swollen shut.
It's only April now and I sincerely hoped I'd be better by now. In some ways, I am. I don't need ice cream, romcoms, and tissues for tears anymore. I teared up a good 30 minutes ago, but I'm doing alright. I just sort of wish I had an answer on how long healing would take. It's the first time I'm taking my own advice on moving on, and I hate it. I want nothing more than to throw myself in something I'll regret or beg him to take me back. Part of me wishes he saw the email I left or the blogs I'm leaving now. Maybe he has but I'm still unsure of how to handle that.
Even though I'm hurting, I know I don't need to get involved with anyone to move on. I need a lifetime to heal. Or at least the year to figure out my life first. Anyway, love can come from more than a romantic partner. I don't need romance. Right now, I'd much rather focus on making friends and my closet. Summer plans? Better clothes, better confidence.
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twinklelore
Your honesty here is incredibly powerful. Heartbreak after something so long and meaningful isn't just the end of a relationship, it's the grieving of an entire future you once believed in. And I think the hardest part is how invisible that pain can feel, especially when you're the one who usually holds others up. But the fact that you're allowing yourself to sit in that pain, to cry, to not rush your healing, that's strength in its rawest form. Healing isn’t linear, and there’s no deadline to “being okay.” It’s messy, slow, and often lonely, but it’s real.You don’t need to be fully healed to start living again. You just need to be gentle with yourself as you figure it out. The love you gave, the depth of your emotion, that says everything about your capacity to feel, to care, and none of that was a waste. If anything, it's proof of how deeply human you are. I love that you’re shifting your energy toward friendships, self-expression, and growth. That’s not “moving on,” that’s becoming.And just in case no one’s said it, I see you. You’re doing better than you think. And when the day comes where you look back and realize the ache has softened, I hope you're wearing your favorite outfit, laughing with people who remind you how lovable you’ve always been.
If I'm as honest and bare as I was in the blog, I cried reading this reply. Thank you for reading and thank you for seeing me. Even if it's a baby step or a subtle crawl, I'll make it to that day when I can wear something of my taste and feel glad knowing I overcame that pain. If you ever look forward to being a writer, you most definitely have the talent to achieve it. <3
by ~WeIrDo~; ; Report
Maelstrom
My condolences, I also had a long distance relationship that went about that long too. The healing will come, give it time. Let yourself feel what you gotta feel, just don't get lost in it. Do your best to find things that give you peace and joy. Stuff like music, shows, and games can help keep your mind busy. You got this! Just keep moving forward! Brighter days and people are sure to come :)
Thank you a ton! I know I’ll heal someday, but it’s reassuring to hear it from someone else <33
by ~WeIrDo~; ; Report