A new worldview.

In the last few weeks I have embraced a different philosophy regarding my own circumstances. The reframing came from both a meme and a passing remark from my mother.

The meme was something along the lines of "going to see a therapist will cost me a fortune, looking at myself in the mirror and telling myself everything is my fault is free".

The comment was something along the lines of "'It fell'? It didn't fall, you dropped it".

You see, I often blamed external factors and forces for whatever happened to me. While this relieved me of the pressure of guilt, it also robbed me of the joy of the very few things that actually went right in my life.

Thus I started reframing everything from a point of personal responsibility. And by that I mean that everything, even when it's not apparent, is a circumstance of my own doing.

 I believe I'm the sole responsible for being where and how I am, and of everything that happens to me. I am not being unemployed not because of the socioeconomical state of my country, but for not being foreseeing enough to learn marketable skills. And my lack of a home is not due to a breach of trust from my father -who was lending it to me and decided to evict me- but it's due to my lack of foresight that he would fail me yet again and being too mollified to try and get one of my own. And now we're at that, I could blame the government's programs for leaving me out of both housing and formal training, but the fact is that I put too much trust in them providing me for them knowing a signed request is nothing but paper.

So wish me luck, this is going to be a tough ride.