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Date: 27 april 2025
I’m kinda reaching that age when it feels like I should have some sexual experience. I know there’s no pressure and everyone does it at their own pace and all that, but I still can’t help but feel like I’m missing out. Obviously I’m curious abt it, mostly what’s been holding me back is that I’m scared. Heard this Finnish saying that’s translated to “u know ur ready when ur more horny than scared”. And I mean, sounds abt right, cs that’s really what’s been pulling me back and forth on if I should do it or not.
I was thinking abt maybe having sex yesterday when I was hanging out with the guy I’m into (situationship..?). But the thing is, we’re both virgins, and for some reason I’ve been told by many that “as long as one out of the two of u knows what they’re doing”. But I cant decide if I believe it or not cs on one side yea I get it, u want to be with someone that knows what they’re doing cs u obviously don’t know. However on the other hand, isn’t it good that if u fuck up, the other person will be on the same level as u and prolly fuck up too. Anyway we didn’t do it cs we realized none of us knows how to.
I gotta go to sleep, can’t stay up thinking of this when I got shit to do tomorrow, I’m going to meet some friends in a park that’s hosting a lil something. Got vaccinated today btw, against TBE. My arm hurts.
- Elliot
Comments
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bri ˎˊ˗
just do it! like genuinely if you want to amd the other person wants to then just do it, the first time in any relationship is always a bit awkward and doesnt go smoothly and thats normal and fine, it seems scary but once u get it over with you'll realize it literally wasnt that serious lol, just communicate clearly which will probably also feel a little awkward or embarrassing at first but genuinely its not that big of a deal and its gunna be a little bit silly the first time and thats entirely normal, it truly isnt that bug a deal imo!
also somthing id like to add is to not try to mimic porn tho, real life sex isnt meant to and isnt like porn if ur just trying to mimic what you see in that it probably wont be as enjoyable vs just listening to each others bodies and taking it at ur own pace!
also u dont have to go all the way with it either! dont try n rush into doing everything possible and checking everything off of a list ur first few times, just take it slow and get a feel for it n find out what you and your partner like :]
by bri ˎˊ˗; ; Report
♡ jovi 🐹
neither person needs to know what theyre doing for sex to be fun and satisfying!
most important thing is COMMUNICATION! do NOT be afraid to ask anything! "is this okay?" "are you okay?" "what do you want me to do?" "what do you want to try?" "should i stop?" "do you want to try something else?"
and never be afraid to say stop if you want to stop. even if you just need a couple minutes to breathe and process the sensations and emotions
people get this crazy idea that sex is straightforward and simple, that you'll just know what to do when it happens. thats because of porn. well, those are actors who work for an industry that caters to other peoples' fantasies, none of it is real. real sex is going to be awkward and messy and maybe even a little embarrassing at first. you might have to stop half way through because it just isnt doing anything for you, or it hurts (it shouldnt with proper foreplay etc though but sometimes it still does). DO NOT FEEL BAD IF THAT HAPPENS! sex, like everything, takes practice!
i cannot stress this enough: masturbation is SO helpful when it comes to finding out what you do and dont like! explore your body as fully as youre comfortable with! that way you can guide your partner during sex
dont rush into anything, and ALWAYS PRACTICE SAFE SEX! condoms are your friend. dental dams are your friend. consent is your friend. pee after sex to flush any potential germs out of your pipes. wash your hands! and even after the most vanilla sex, aftercare can still be important. ESPECIALLY if you and/or your partner are new to sex
sex should be fun and silly. i mean yeah sometimes you just wanna bang it out, no funny business, and thats fine! but you should be able to laugh with your partner if something awkward happens. like you probably will fart during sex at some point. you might pee yourself a little (or more than a little lbr. the bladder also gets stimulated during vaginal sex)
another important point: orgasm is not the end goal. yes it feels great and thats what most people want to achieve, but it doesnt always happen. i never orgasm during sex, which is a bit of a bummer (i have sensory issues which translate to very little sensation when im overstimulated, plus trauma on top of that probably makes me shut down a little), but just being close to my bf and having fun is what i really care about
i hope this helps anyone reading. i didnt have sex for the first time until i was 20 or 21, and im 30 now so i've had a good 10 years to learn what works and what doesnt ^_^
this!!! so true they said it perfectly ^^
by bri ˎˊ˗; ; Report
Chiasm
there is no "right age" for these things, please don't pressure yourself into something intimate just because you feel like you're supposed to do it!!
maxim !!
idfk and I don't ever wanna think about it
☣𝔑𝔞𝔥𝔢𝔪𝔞☣
SEX IS SHIT FOR POOR PEOPLE
myka joy
heyy so all these comments are really good! i feel like adding mine anyways :)
my first time i was not scared at all. i don’t think anyone should be because that could cause regret and for you to do something you’re uncomfortable with. as previously mentioned, make sure you communicate about everything you both plan on doing before and during, and make sure you’re in a comfortable setting as well! also.. make sure you’re both enjoying yourselves. i won’t disagree that it’s a big deal, it’s just not something to negatively stress about ! be safe too and purchase contraceptives :)
nelly
idk in my opinion sex is somethijg for two people to form a bond! its like u 2 join as one but everyones different. jus make sure u choose the right person n not someone you might regret later!
Haven
I had my first experience with a virgin. Once you are in the thick of it, you both won't really be worried about messing up. Just do what feels good to you and make sure you both communicate before and during so that everyone can be satisfied! My first time was kinda awkward at the beginning. We were asking each other "What do we do now?" and "How do we start?" but once you get over that hurdle, its mostly smooth sailing. Stay safe, protected, and most importantly, have fun with it! <3
thanks, I've sorta been doing that so far so yea I'll just stick to that
by Elliot; ; Report
Good luck!
by Haven; ; Report
Georg
ok, so first of all, please get protection, so it will save you from worrying about STDs
and to be fair, sex is something you'll get used to eventually. it's important to do it when you feel ready. whenever you'll do it can be the first time as "hooking up" or "making love", there will be no judgement. just do it carefully so you won't regret it. and don't forget about boundaries! whenever you'll stop feeling good, don't be afraid to tell that to the other person.
so... good luck and take care! ^^
thanks, appreciate the advice
by Elliot; ; Report
sheree•_•
I totally get where you’re coming from. I also am abt the age to have sexual experiences and am really curious and scared abt it. Im still a virgin and I don’t have any sexual experiences. You don’t have to feel missed out because of no experience. Just like u and i there are many other teenagers and ADULTS with 0 experience. If u want to wait but cant then just think about the worst consequences that could happen. It may hold you back for a few months or years. If you’re really horny then just masturbate. Do realize that curiosity kills the cat. Not saying that u shouldn’t be curious
but understand if you’re doing it for yourself or just because of fomo.
abby
honestly i feel like there is not a point in sex unless its emotionally intimate in a way? if you know what i mean because the first time i did it i kinda felt like it was accomplishment instead of something to cherish and to get to know them in another way. i hope what im saying makes sense? like make sure its something you both want than something you'll take for granted
Ye I get what u mean and I agree
by Elliot; ; Report
Ievuks
Honestly I feel like people take sex for granted. It's like they're alwaysss competing which one loses their v card faster. Don't get a fomo. there's this mini documentary or interview or something about this woman who is 40 and still a virgin. She basically says she forgot about sex 3 years ago and to this day, no one talks about it
I get how that can happen, cs I mean sex isn't really THAT important I don't think. I mean I hadn't even really thought abt it much until I got interested in someone (and it actually went somewhere).
by Elliot; ; Report
jazzy
dont feel pressured to do it just cuz you're at a certain age. do it when you feel like ur ready. id say ur not missing out on a lot really... its super painful (for me anyways idk about others ...) its better to just wait til the time is right with the right person imo.
The thing is idk when the “time is right” cs maybe I’ll never think it’s the right time. I don’t wanna sit around waiting for the right time if the right time won’t ever come. I don’t get it if it’s so painful why do ppl do it? There’s gotta be more to it than just pain, I hope. Idk, thanks for the advice tho
by Elliot; ; Report
i see ur points. the reason why I do it even tho its painful is simply cuz me and my partner try to see what makes me feel less pain and what is more uncomfortable for me. just experimenting basically. but trust me u will know when the time is right idk how to explain it cuz I lost my virginity not long ago after lots of time thinking about how I should be doing this stuff by now cuz others my age are doing it. i didn't feel truly comfortable trying until a year or a bit more into my current relationship. but we are all different so your experience might be different to mine. well if u do wanna try it out, id say do a lot of reading/research on it so u know what ur doing, its mostly painful for me because we have a lot of research to do . i didn't rlly know what to expect on my first time. (also I possibly have endometriosis so there's also that factor lol)
by jazzy; ; Report
Yea I think I have to do way more research than I have so far, I often think things will just "work themselves out" but I've found that sex is maybe not one of those things, cs both ppl gotta make it happen and probably have some knowledge before hand. (Never heard of Endometrios before, I googled it and it seems painful so that sucks, wishing u the best)
by Elliot; ; Report
IG: br34kc0r3_sc3n3
im ngl, im a virgin. but idc and i think you should really know your partner and their experience shouldnt matter as long as you both like ir. you shouldnt do anything with someone that youre not 100% sure you genuinely love. i would hold back til tgen. but then again, im some random person on ur phone whos opinion doesnt matter. do what you want dude.
I just wish I knew what I was doing yk. I don’t think I’ll ever be 100% sure on anything, but I get what u mean. Thx for the advice man
by Elliot; ; Report