Entry #80

i saw this video come up on my fyp on tiktok last night being like "glad im a hellenic polytheist so i dont have to worry about the gods watching me when i jerk off" and i left a comment being like "yeah i use it as a devotional act for dionysus" which is true sometimes aphrodite as well. then i get a few smooth brain replies being like "erm, thats not!" like shut the fuck up bro who the fuck actually says thats not. and then they go and tell me im impure, that im miasmic as fuck, lymata preaching and so on like... as if not several other people are doing it??? i dont know if there is something wrong with it because ive genuinely been told that masturbating can be used as a devotional act towards love/fertility gods and thats all i do it for, i dont masturbate for any god that is a virgin god or is NOT associated with love/fertility. and i was taught miasma was a god-sent plague after someone committed murder and it was not attoned...????? so idfk if theres a different like definition but yeah. and then i had bitches QUITTING TIKTOK over my ONE COMMENT on SOMEONE ELSES POST. like ok bro it was not that serious maybe try to educate me with sources and shit instead of deleting ur comment and tiktok after calling me impure. like stfu bro ur no better. then this fucking bitch messages me being like "i wanna talk about it on a historical basis" and now theyre just yapping about how this girl murdered this man and his son wanted to avenge him by murdering her but didnt since he was afraid of contracting miasma (WHICH FURTHER PROVES MY POINT) and then apollo blesses him or whatever. then they go on about lymata and how theres this orphic hymn or whatever talking about a woman giving birth  and cleaning herself of lyma which is bodily fluids given off during child birth apparently, before praying to zeus. and its like ok??? all of this is going in one ear and out the fucking other just tell me why its fucking wrong to jerk off as a devotional act, stop being fucking cryptic and provide sources. the only sources ive gotten so far is a quote from the illiad about the son sailing the ship or whatever before apollo blessed him like JUST TELL ME WHYITS WRONG. ALL IVE GOTTEN IS THAT U CANNOT HAVE BODILY FLUIDS ON U BEFORE PRAYING BRO LIKE OH YM GOD im gonna lose my fucking mind i feel insane but im not since a lot of people are agreeing with me and my mom whos been a hellenist for 20 fucking years is telling me im right and i have literally been praising the gods since i was BORN i dont need some flaming fucking freak talking about some "ive been a helpol since 2018" DONT CARE