Happy Easter but there isn't much happy going on

Today is Easter I don't really celebrate it not just cause I'm Hindu but due to the fact that every holiday is depressing for me cause I get reminded that I never have family to celebrate with and never will . I was however yesterday invited to my roommates family Easter and was supposed to go but come to find out none of my roommates here even liked me in the first place so they didn't bother to take me and what sucks about that is I feel bad cause the people who threw the Easter party that day even tho they know my circumstance and how I'm uncomfortable celebrating holidays they still took time to make me a Easter basket. I never got the basket tho and my roommates refuse to give me it so I'll never see what I got , haven't celebrated Easter in years either so I got a little excited I can't lie when I was told I got made a basket even through I'm going threw all this stuff currently.

I've been looking for places to stay at as well . I don't speak much to others about my situation but I'm going to be homeless again cause nobody in my area hiring . And before you say anything that I should call or walk to places I have . I've tried over 2k places and have to walk an average 2-3hrs just to find a place hiring "near me"which more then half of them say go on indeed and apply which all that does is push out / away your application and not really get your stuff out there if that makes sense. And I am trying really I recently walked a total of almost 7 hrs in one day going to places and all I get called is lazy cause I couldn't make it home in time to clean the whole house while they were gone . They house was already clean tho and I already clean the same areas daily they just like to complain about anything and not clean anything themselves. 

I haven't aten a full meal in a minute either not just cause nobody ever home I can cook myself but because I don't know I've lost appetite to even eat at all , once I take a bite of food I kind of get grossed out while eating I don't know why at all my body is like this . I stopped drinking water as well just cause I get grossed out as well I don't know what's going on and I've asked to be taken up to a hospital so I can get proper treatment and not worry about my body shutting down every other month but I'm being denied any help or to be driven there. I have healthcare and everything too which covers for mostly everything which sucks too . I think my healthcare is going to be taken away soon though. It shows up I had a job for a few days but I recently got fired so I gotta call them and tell them I'm damn near shy from being homeless and I have no job anymore but everytime I do try to call nobody answers or they are closed which sucks cause not only does this effect my health care but my dental, EBT , any assistance I don't receive anymore cause I worked for a max 7 days and no longer. 

I pray my situation gets better and don't have to worry about me having enough money saved up for my phone bill and if I have enough to buy food once my bill is paid . I pray I don't have to wonder if I can have a stable place to live anymore and just have a nice little home with a man or women and everything is taken care of we don't have to worry about bill , taxes , or anything else its all ok . And last of all I pray my depression goes away / self harm thoughts so I'm capable of being more happy instead of gloomy about everything and just "accepting" I'm a failure , if would be nice to actually be able to smile for once without thinking about anything and enjoying life for once but I highly doubt with everything that happens to me that that'll happen anytime soon for me . 

Happy Easter everyone if your reading this I hope you have a lovely Easter if you don't celebrate or stuff is going on in your life I hope you have a lovely day and try not to stress life tm out . It does honestly kill you slowly.