Weird mood

Date: 20 april 2025 

I have had this weird mood all week and it's getting annoying. I'm not even sure why I'm in this mood, can't think of anything that would make me feel this weird. I'm kinda stressed abt school but I'm almost always stressed abt school so I don't think it's that. A friend of mine told me she wanted to die and then told me that she loved me which was extremely worrying, but I don't think it's that either. My dad called me yesterday and told me to hide the alcohol so my brother won't find it, that was kinda stressful but I don't think it was that either. Maybe it's a combination of different things.

Besides all this I feel kinda awkward typing and posting on my blog now cs I'm kinda scared that someone I don't want to see it will see it. Three months back I made a post talking abt how it was scary that "he" almost found my blog. Well now I know he has found it cs he told me, and not only that but he read every single post I've made. I think it's kind of pushing some boundaries, some things I want to keep to myself but some are kind of whatever. I mean I'm not crushed or in ruins but I feel kinda exposed. I told him not to look at my blog from now on, cs I mean if there is something he wants to know he can just ask me, he doesn't have to pry into my pandoras box of blog posts. This is my first post since finding out he has seen my blog so it's kind of a test post, after a while I can prolly start posting normally and less constrained again. But for now I'm kinda reserved, though I still want my blog to be my outlet for thoughts and feelings. I would also talk abt other stuff abt this guy but I think I'm gonna wait with that until I know it's safe. Also his birthday is coming up and I wanna talk abt that as well but I can't.

I should get ready to leave in half an hour now, I'm gonna watch some wrestling match with some friends, Idk if it's gonna be my thing but hopefully I can get out of this weird mood by it. I was kinda hoping that "he" would be there as well but I don't think he's coming. Happy Easter btw.

- Elliot