being a paraphile has affected my orientations

my gender, romantic, and sexual orientations. specifically romantic and sexual, but not platonic. for myself, platonic (feelings) are above romantic and sexual, and havent changed

however, slowly accepting i do have paraphilias, NOT paraphilic disorders, has allowed me to think about myself engaging in romantic and sexual acts because a lot of my fantasies are not normal, and i felt different because of that. in a way, its helping me to make sense to myself as an aroace(spec) lesbian

edit: made it coherent, deleted and added stuff, and spelling