Somehow im still alive

Tw! Sh, sensitive content

On Sunday I had a really serious episode... I felt really bad because I ended up being an idiot with my ex, for some reason that I don't know, I can't love anyone, and with her, I tried, I tried really hard, I really wanted to be able to love her, but in the end I couldn't, it's been a while since we broke up, but we continued as friends, so, this past Sunday, I was talking about her with him again (I honestly still haven't gotten over her) and he ended up mentioning that I really was a jerk, and I know that, so I ended up feeling really bad, because I knew it was true, I ended up messing up with my leg, then my friend tried to calm me down, I stopped right away since he had asked me to and stuff.

I've been feeling bad all week, I couldn't even talk to anyone properly and I also had to go to the doctor twice because of it, since I started to feel really bad after the episode, I'm still feeling bad, a little less worse than before, but my stomach still hurts and I'm really dizzy, I'm taking some medicine, if it continues I'll have to have an ultrasound, even though I don't think it's a worm or anything like that, it's probably because of the episode.

My leg hurts btw