Do You fall victim to flattery ?

i feel that i am a person who gets deceived easily

i trust with my whole heart,, and get surprised when it breaks

I've learnt now,, that what people may say isn't always true

I know now that I am not naive or stupid for trusting people so easily

and that it wasn't wrong of me to be so naive and stupid

I was a kid. I'm still a kid,, really.

I don't necessarily want to build a wall around myself,, because fully withdrawing from human interaction only makes things worse .

I don't want to let my fear of being deceived shun me from ever making meaningful connections in life.

I'm scared,, I'm scared,, every day,, I'm scared

But I won't let it consume me

I think it'd be worse being alone forever

than to feel a little hurt and sad now and then

I am a person who loves people,, loves being around and talking to people

and even if it's scary,,

the love i feel for the world around me greatly overcomes the fear of it

i want to love truthfully and genuinely

in my art i write my poems to the world,, of the things i like,, my passions,, my deepest regrets and fears

and with that art i expose my vulnerability

and i don't care for the hurt anymore,,

because i want to love freely

i don't want the fear of being hurt,, of being secretly despised,,

 to constraint me.

So yeah,,, I'm trying to keep myself in check nowadays

It feels easy to fall back into the idea of ,,"what if,, what if,,"

what if they hate it ? what if they hate Me ?

But i know the ,,"what if," that scares the most is

""what if i did nothing"

""what if someone tried to reach out,,""

""what if i was loved,,""

""what if i was missed,, what if i was wanted,,""
""

""and i did nothing ?""

I'm doing somethings that I like,, I guess. Like making stupid little crafts which are quite nice actually. Doing things time to time,, trying to involve myself in irl community. observing the world which days pass by and i can tell my self 'good job'' for existing.

thank you for keeping on. for just going,, even if it was difficult

thank you,, too,, for reading

and for being here. in this big world

your existence is greatly wanted,, and appreciated

the sun greets you with warm kisses and the stars shine bright to be seen by you

and i hope that you'll be able to start the day with love and without fear