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I haven't been feeling well lately
I feel overwhelmed by a HUGE feeling of emptiness and I don't know what to do, I don't feel like anyone's friend and I literally feel alone in this world. Since I was little I've carried this feeling inside me, that I'm always alone no matter how much I try to find comfort and support in friendships or things like that. I've never felt truly part of something, I've never felt truly connected to people and it only takes a little more distance from these people in my daily life for them to disappear from my life for good.
I used to see my "fluidity" as something positive, I always thought that I would be able to adapt to any place that was put, but now I realized that I haven't created any kind of real connection with anyone, I'm not anyone's priority as a friend and this is slowly destroying me. I miss this support daily, I've been trying to fit into groups that I don't feel 100% comfortable with to try to somehow fill a gap but this isn't working, it's just sinking me deeper and deeper when I realize that I don't look like any of the people around me.
At this point I don't even know if what I'm saying makes sense anymore, but I'm trying to put into words the deep sadness and loneliness I feel. I never imagined I would be going through a moment like this, but everyone goes through difficult times.
I'm extremely exhausted, I don't know if it's because of work or college or adult life or everything, but I feel exhausted, I can't find the energy to do anything, my room is a mess and I can't lift a finger to change it. My body can't stand for long without a gigantic urge to sleep attacking me, I don't want to talk to anyone else and always live in my room with my little songs and viniccius13.
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كينكايد
i used to (and still do in some regard) have a similar problem, i would overly pander to other people and seek to be their friend, even if it was someone who was not similar to me at all. because of this, for a long time i never felt like i had real friends, i was playing a character to try to fit in. only when i stopped seeking more friends and stopped trying to change myself for every person i met, then i felt like i actually had real friends and the emptiness started to go away.
i suggest you put greater focus on yourself. if you are the one adapting to the person in a friendship, then you’ll never actually get a deep connection with them. because then if that person becomes a close friend to you, the person they are friends with is not truly who you are at the core.
as for the exhaustion, search for the root cause. are you getting enough sleep, eating well, drinking coffee too late into the afternoon, etc. once you begin to fulfill your body’s needs, everything else will fall into place.
remember that you’ll constantly be tested in this life, tough times will always come. but once you pull yourself out of that pit, you’ll be grateful for who you become after. i hope things will get better soon
100% and keep this gratitude even after you get out of it, notice every little thing you have and how little you truly had to work for it if that’s the case.
by لوسيان; ; Report
I'm really not very connected with myself, this was also something that has been haunting me recently. Discovering who I really am has become a task in my life, I hope that when I discover it everything will get better! Thanks for the comment
by anaphernelia; ; Report