Day 19 of drinking beer because a pretty woman said so

Errrmmm....hi- WHY DID YOU DITCH THE BLOOOGGGSSSSS??? I feel so rude for that reference but I genuinely like when someone says hi, the first thing i think is that video. The dude who made it seems nice just a tiny bit cringe. I think they're playing into it though a little bit. And everyone who was reactionary towards that video was fooled by it. They took the bait. Anyway, I got lazy and when i wasn't lazy i got busy and today I thought why not? I've got nothing else to do!

Learn - i didn't learn today but I haven't done this in a while. So I've mostly been reading about the tariffs and oh boy. I also read about the porn industry, that was at someone else's house and I was reading the article on my phone and I was like please don't ask what I'm reading please don't ask but yeah genuinely an evil industry and ITS NOT THE WOMEN'S FAULT??? I see a lot of men who don't know who to blame so they're like yeah fuck the pornstars (no pun intended) but it's the people who run the show! They're evil, the actresses and actors too are victims usually. I mean even those who benefit from it don't see how they're contributing to systemic issues like I don't want to get too into it tbh because it's a sensitive topic... umm something more recent... okay yesterday I read about this guy who bought a camera, like an old Polaroid and started taking photos and shit and it was genuinely nice. I'd love to recommend an article a day. Remind me tomorrow! There is one I'd love to share but I can't access it because the site locked me behind a paywall and I didn't take notes on it either. STUPID STUPID, MOTH! STUPID! I Saw a video and this woman was doing an apartment tour and she I think left her head out of frame and she was like STUPID STUPID, RONNIE STUPID. Yk I've been dying to share what I learned and I can't remember any of it. And I haven't been motivated to read the news because it's all tariffs and every article is like we interviewed these stock brokers. I DONT CARE MAN! I read something about China and how they have means to combat the tariffs but overall the general attitude of Chinese individuals has completely soured on America which is understandable, I've soured on them too. I thought I'd evade the tariffs since I live across the sea, got a notification from my banking app "your banking fees have increased by such and such" great! Today I learned from... I'm ashamed to say... a tiktok... but it genuinely had me Pondering, knuckles to chin straight thinking yk. It was like morality stops you from enjoying art and i was like nah then wait a minute??? Spit my goat!!! Spit!!!  Because think about that, how many great movies are you stopping yourself from enjoying because you don't agree and it's okay to criticize the character's morals still but it can be a good piece of art. The first example that comes to mind is American beauty but even that's still a shit movie despite the main character being... well yk a perv, a pedo, a shit husband and played by Kevin spacey. Idk it's really fake deep but then I thought about taxi driver and I heavily disagree with Travis but damn is it a good movie it actually strengthens my morals to think these things through because like i become more and more able to articulate why I disagree as well as articulating why I still believe the piece of art is good. It shows media literacy.

Cards - okay I'm done with cardistry or I shouldn't say that, I'm satisfied for now. I am now learning false shuffles and false cuts which is when you pretend to shuffle the deck but you keep it in order this helps you track cards and I learned my first one. I thought the dude explaining it was lying and then I was about to give up and write this very blog but i already learned the false shuffle at that point and I was doing it involuntarily and when I was packing away I realized like that deck order looks familiar, I did it again and it stayed the same. I learned how to false shuffle. I'd like to know what it is I did wrong but I won't complain about learning it just like that.

Exercise//Health - been taking this shit seriously. I work out twice a day now. The reason why is embarrassing but one of my friends posted like a thirst thing and I'm not against it, it's cool to be so positive and my first thought was, I need a body like that, so i started working out my core like crazy, every morning I watch a movie but I forbid myself unless I did the ab workout but that's unbalanced, I need to focus on my legs too then I posted something on twitter like "how do I present more androgynously" and I always poke fun at my binary trans friends for getting euphoria or dysphoria over arbitrary things like ik someone who got euphoric because on ebay or some site the water bottle they owned was listed as "for women" but I fell into this trap. Someone jokingly said, and I'll put it less crudely "have a decently sized posterior" and also dyed hair. So now I do two workouts every day. My legs and my abs and my ab workout usually doubles as a shoulder/arm workout too. I've been trying to improve diet. I've replaced my usual cup of Joe with water....but coffee and writing goes together so well hearth break emoji... I made an error too in that last sentence its because I'm hydrating or whatever

Language - I did my duolingo today not much else. Wait actually, I got tipsy and started thinking in Spanish. I was looking for my jacket and my mind was thinking mi chaqueta? Donde es mi chaqueta Marron? And it's one sentence but IMPROVEMENT!!! Just got a 75 day streak on duolingo as my awesome, perfect streak, duolingo buddy gave me High five... UNASKED FOR by the way! So how's your day?

Write - I've been writing like crazy. I finished a review in two days, I started the next one today and I plan to finish it in two days because tomorrow will be a mess. I think I should swear less. I never swear in my professional writing though. My writing partner is the opposite, she NEVER swears but when she's writing with me, she's a bit of a potty mouth. So if you read a work of mine and there's more than one swear word, it's her! I need to work with her again though. I've been withdrawing if that isn't obvious but I'm coming back again. It's my defense mechanism. If I feel I'm going to get hurt emotionally, I withdraw. My cousin, the goat she practically yanked me out of withdrawal and for that I'm thankful.

Media - mostly just movies. Check my letterboxd, ask me and I'll send it to you.

Announcement!!!!!!

The centering goes kinda nutty but anyway. Tomorrow will be a 'special' episodemy electricity is going out AGAIN and my cousin gave me some golden advice the other day which amounts to leave the house every week or so. Tomorrow I'll leave the house. I have tasks for myself though! I won't aimlessly walk around town, I have goals. Firstly, I want to buy cream pants for myself. Secondly, I want to get a tote bag. Third, I need to buy... beer... and fourth, I need to treat myself to coffee at a Cafe. I will try one new place every week.

Ramble - the beer thing??? What's up with that??? Did yall see underscores post that pic of her drinking beer?? She strikes me as a beer drinker ngl but like now i feel inclined to drink what she drinks! I'll be honest, ik I love older women but I love underscores, I'd take a bullet for her. I love how I consider her a younger women and she's older than me. I genuinely love her though. For anyone wondering, she is my celebrity crush. Look up April Underscores and you'll get me. Listen to the way she sings, to be serenaded by that voice would go crazy.

Anyway, what are YOU gonna do tomorrow??? I challenge you to treat yourself to something nice Tomorrow, okay? Doesn't have to be something big or it can be if you really need it and have the means but just do something nice for yourself okay? And tell me what lovely thing you did to treat yourself. Good night, chat!!