Log entry: April 12, 2025

So it's technically the 13th but idc cuz I ended yesterday at 2 am today soooo yah anyway

I woke up at 8, like I have been recently, and I felt really restless, which is kind of new? I've just been feeling restless a lot lately and not in a productive way with schoolwork way. It's very much an "I need to do something to stop thinking right now" and "I need to move" way. Granted, I ended up taking a really nice two-hour walk. I first walked to the park that's near our campus because our campus green literally only has 10 trees, which isn't enough green for me. So, I walked to the park and sat and drew a little bit. I guess you could say I went on a walk and draw side quest. While the sun was really bright and I ended up getting tiny headaches from the differences in lighting between the surroundings and my subject, it was really nice out. It was the perfect weather for a light jacket, which, imo is the best weather. When I finished drawing, I realized there was a group of aunties dancing in the park square, and it made me really happy and nostalgic for China. I came up with the idea that being an auntie and having their audacity is probably the most nonbinary thing a Chinese person can do. I've been trying to incorporate that thinking into my life more, and honestly, I feel much more confident in myself.

After visiting the park, I walked past it and into the business district. I absolutely adore the business district because of its beautiful architecture. It's very art deco-esque in some areas and then very Chicago school in others. There's this one cobblestone street, in particular, that I explored this time. That road contains this gelato store that I'm very much in love with. The owner is/was actually a professor at my uni! Anyway, I walked around that area. After all, I haven't really had the chance to do so on foot, because I usually drive on that street, and seeing everything while walking made it so much more exhilarating. 

I was going to get boba after my walk because I was just craving actual food, as I hadn't eaten since I set foot outside, which was around 9, and I had walked for 2 hours. I decided against it and went to the food hall on campus instead because I was going to hang out with friends later and figured we were going to get boba. I also just needed to use my swipes before the semester ends, and it was the perfect place to be close to the area we would meet up while also getting unlimited drinks. 

On the topic of eating, I've been getting much much MUCH better about eating! I used to just ignore and forget that I would be hungry, so I've been making a conscious decision recently to just eat at the times a normal person would eat. I still forget to eat sometimes, but at least I'm building a good habit! And I'm very proud of myself for this because this was a problem that I developed in elementary school. Now that I have control over my time (to some degree), I've gotten to actually look out for myself and make sure I'm giving my body all the attention it needs.

Going back to what all happened yesterday... after lunch, I hung out with my team members in an organization I'm in. We had to scrap our original idea of painting pottery because one of our members was still asleep. Lo and behold, we ended up getting boba. Then we sat and talked for two hours... in a Kohl's!

Our team leader dropped us off at our dorms, and I tried to do my physics homework. I kind of gave up because I was still feeling restless and ended up drawing. I will say, I've come a long way because I'm able to get a balanced drawing in one go, as I draw traditionally and can't flip the canvas to check for anything, as you would be able to on a digital program. So, I revisited one of the designs for an OC, and I landed on a solid decision. At this point, I'd run out of this to draw so I finally got around to painting on my messenger bag. I don't use it often because it's technically from another uni in our city (I thrifted it for 2 bucks! I really love that bag too!). Up till then, I had been covering up the logo with keychains and pins, but it got really annoying to move everything from my backpack to the messenger bag whenever I would use one or the other. I used white fabric paint and just went crazy. I think I like the outcome. I would say it's pretty cute.

At this point, it's around 5, I'm totally exhausted of creative juices, and I have nothing but YouTube vids to keep me company. Still, it wasn't enough. I think I revisited my physics homework and gave up again, and just went back to trying to draw something. Finally, it hit around 8, and I went down to my friend's room because we had planned to go to a K-pop party club thing at 9. I brought down stuff that I was going to put in my car because no matter how late we would stay at the party, I would still go home after. We got ready, well, I waited for her to get ready, and we set out!

The club was so fun. It was really dead at the beginning, but 30 minutes or so in, it started to get much livelier. Honestly, there's not much to say... we saw some friends and danced to the songs we knew. The only notable thing was how the night ended. Around 11:45 or so, we decided to head out because, again, I was going to drive home, which is about an hour away, no matter what. We walked to my car, and I realized my car keys had detached from my carabiner! Woe was I! And so we booked it back to the building and told the bouncer about what had happened. This little fucker kept insisting that I couldn't go back inside even though I just wanted someone to look for it. I asked if he could look for it, and he said, "I can't! I have to stay here!" and I went, "Then send someone else!" because I knew they had floor staff, because I saw them when I was inside earlier! It got to the point that he told me I would have to come back tomorrow. AS IF I HAD A WAY TO GET BACK TO CAMPUS?! AT TWELVE?! Finally, the person behind the counter gave my keys to the bouncer, and he gave them to me. And so, my friend and I went on our merry way. I swear, had the guy behind the counter not been a good person, I would have swung at the bouncer. We reached my car (again), and this time, some random guy in a tesla pulled up to us saying, "Hey! Y'all were those two girls!". Obviously offset by this and having the adrenaline of almost fighting a grown man rushing through my system, I went "Well... there were a lot of girls in there...". He kept going and said, "No no! You guys were great!" Again, I responded, "Everyone was great...". At this point you're probably thinking, "why do you keep responding?!" Well, what else was I supposed to do when a guy pulls up in a car when we're just two female-presenting POC walking on the side of the street? This is the South, and that was a white guy. One wrong move and we could be in the news the next day. Eventually he just went, "Nah, y'all were vibing!" and drove away. Obviously, I can't recount all that he said but I tried to remain true to the feeling of what happened. I just know the first line he said was accurate. 

And so, I dropped off my friend and drove back home. I finally made it back around 1:30 and conked out the minute my head hit the pillow...

Hope my day was a fun read for you :)