I cant take this anymore

Tw: sensitive topics, family issues, kidnapping, harassment, sh

 Well, these days have been really hard for me, when I was 4 years old my parents separated and a lot of things happened, including kidnapping, my mom kidnapped me a while after my dad moved in with me, so I spent some time at my mom's house.

I always suffered a lot of bullying for being "different" in some way, I never understood the real reason why so many people wanted to say bad things to me, and then at 7 years old I was already thinking about disappearing and stuff line that.

When I entered the sixth grade, I met a girl and she started harassing me and touching me in a way that I didn't like, without me letting her, but I didn't care so much since I never had a decent friendship so I thought it was normal, until she started saying extremely explicit and heavy things to me, so after the holidays I stopped talking to her.

A lot of things happened recently because of my parents' selfishness and usually everything goes to waste here, the blame always falls on me, even if no one blames me I feel very guilty. So... these days I've been thinking about ways to kill myself, not that I haven't done it before but... anyway, I just wanted to have a peaceful life, what the hell?