Am I the only one that feels this way

I feel like my emotions are so unstable it's killing me. I can't use to hide them anymore and when the depression hits it tears right through me. I'm sad and feel empty. I just wish I could be more stable. More like an emotional train ride than a rollercoaster. At-least I cry now to let it out. I hate feeling like my emotions are being thrown back and forth like a pendulum. It's just me. I do this to myself. I won the privilege lottery when I was born and have since torn myself apart. Sometimes the sadness is just a necessary part but when it's unprovoked and comes out of nowhere and hits me full force it sucks. A sleep will fix me