Sporus

Man oh man. If I ever have to see those beastly caterpillars again - all grotesque and lime green and jittery - I swear I will plant so many garlic bulbs that they suffocate from the smell. It is my one-month anniversary of my herb garden (sage, Italian basil, parsley, red basil, rocket) and my sage and Italian basil have been destroyed. Eaten. Devoured without any second thought. And not even by me! That could've been a good pesto - I bought the pine nuts and parmesan and everything. Why mistreat me like this?

Anyhow... life. It has gotten to that point in the semester where I don't have as much free time to watch movies/read books but I do have time for those terrible 10-20 minute scrolling sessions. I really need to stop doing that. It is hard to live alone and have no self-control. So recently I decided to do something about it: I built a small home gym back in my family's place, and took it upon myself to have some of the dumbbells relocated so whenever I get that terrible, terrible urge... I can just get buff. And about getting buff - it is so much harder than you think. I have a personal vendetta against those who are 'scared about getting bulky' - I wish it were that simple! My biceps haven't grown one bit.

The real issue for me is eating enough protein, and also enjoying my life. I find that the best way to meet both of these goals is to buy rotisserie chickens, eat cans of tuna when I can, eat a whole lot of yogurt (with dulce de leche topping... delicious) and get protein bars when I can. I have been quietly considering buying protein powder again but 1. It is gross 2. I always get a terrible spell of acne whenever I approach whey, even as a concept. Tonight I think I will make some meatballs, or burger patties... I have been waiting for this moment (I even have some spare taco seasoning).

It has been about 6 months since I turned everything around and stopped speaking to certain people and started thinking about myself a little too hard. I do feel weird knowing I have "opps", but it is not like this is a new thing - sometimes I overextend myself to the point of becoming egregiously unlikeable. I do love my Honours friends and the mutual sense of doom we share between the lot of us. And I love the 'promise' (my main group) - we're going to be going out for Ben & Jerrys free icecream day today. It is going to be huge.

I need to start thinking about scholarships, and studying overseas, and all of these massive nebulous things that tend to overwhelm me. I think I should like to go to Melbourne, I have a bit of an affinity with it. The true advantage as well is staying in the same healthcare system, same insurance, can go to Sydney/Adelaide on little holidays if I want. I did think about the UK and the US and will still be trying for them, but I do have a tendency towards homesickness. Although I do like living alone, that is always a bonus.

I lost my train of thought. I need to think about what ice cream flavour I should choose today.