i feel like i'm a shit

i feel like i am toxic or unhealthy. i worry a lot about my bf that sometimes i feel like.. toxic. i want him to feel fine and i end up to sound like a overprotective freak. i hate myself. i don't deserve him. he deserves way better than a shitty weirdo maniac monster. he just told me there's a freak following him and his friend... i can't help but panic. i can't do anything, we are not near homes and it's night. i wanna do something, but i can't do anything. i'm so fucking sorry. im useless. i wish i could be there. i wish i was normal. i'm so sorry, you deserves better. how can you love me? i'm so sorry. i'm so fucking sorry. uuvghh fuck sorry