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i feel like for the longest time I've been on the quest to better myself, because i didn't like where i was at and i wanted to be better. i'm sure most people have a similar experience. i just feel like I'm not living up to my full potential but i know that the sacrifices and changes i need to make for this ideal version of myself look so much better when i start these habits the next day or week or month, etc...
well. recently something happened in my life, i don't really want to get into it but it's given me this 3-week timeframe im using to better myself. yesterday was the first week marker. i know 3 weeks isn't enough time to completely transform into a 'better person' but i want to start implementing habits that will help me get closer.
and for the most part I've been doing well. I've recognized some of my harmful habits and made efforts to stop them. I've planned out a few more good habits to replace them, like working out on certain days or practicing a new hobby. (I've been practicing djing and i cant say im good at it yet but im going to keep working!)
one of the things i did was delete a bunch of apps off of my phone. im talking Instagram, pinterest, games, discord, really anything fun. and it kinda worked... with just the new york times, libby and f1 app on my phone my screentime went down dramatically. (and went straight to my computer but that's not the point im getting at today lol).
this isn't the first time i've deleted Instagram from my phone. i did it about a year ago and really liked it. but found i wanted a place to express myself so i redownloaded it and made a new account. i recently have found myself going down the rabbit hole of Instagram reels... so it was gone once again.
but in it's absence this week i felt isolated. cut off. removed.
i think it has to do with me being in my own apartment alone. when i didn't have it this summer, i still had my sister at home, but now she's off at school.
so im giving myself the OK to redownload it again. let myself be a little attached. at least for now.
I'll try to identify anything I've noticed over the next few days and make an other entry to this log of "getting better."
anyways. that's kind of a vent i suppose. i love writing so i don't know why it's taken me so long to actually put down what I'm feeling somewhere. i will be doing it more often.
i hope you are all having a great day. im sending you love and positive vibes. <3
love,
gracie
Comments
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SofaDog
ive actually been using a flip phone for the past few days, before that i used my old google pixel 3 that i installed lineage os on, (without gapps) used f-droid to install olauncher and, and then connected my phone to my computer with adb and uninstalled the stuff i dont need. (like the browser and f-droid because im done with it) that worked for me and i highly recommend it if your tech savvy and have a google pixel. but my parents got me a flip phone for catching up on my missing schoolwork, and so far its great. some things i dont like are texting (because of the t9 keypad) but i just call people instead now. im not saying to buy a flip phone tho, do what you want.
i was thinking about maybe trying one out!! idk if im in the best place to at the moment but this has inspired me to give it a go! this summer I'll give it a shot, thanks <3 :D
by gracie; ; Report
ｙｕｕｒａ （ゑヒぉ）
you're already making amazing progress by identifying your weaknesses and attempting to get better. For a lot of people, starting is their biggest obstacle.
The quest to "get better" is a curious thing. Because we never realize that we have already gotten better. Think about your past years, would they have given a second thought about their actions and the consequences? Most likely not, compare that to now, it's change, you're already getting better. Nobody is ever 100%, we are all human, we are born imperfect no matter how hard we try, because there will always be third party that you have no control over stopping you.
Social media is hell, yes, but it's not a bad thing. The internet is amazing in the way it lets us interact with people we otherwise would never be able to reach out to. Your progress is not nullified for using the internet for what it was made for, connection. I believe in you, you got this.
this is such an incredibly sweet comment. you make some great points. thank you! <3 <3 <3
by gracie; ; Report