This summer I'm gonna do it. Summer is coming up and I have a family trip to another state.

She does not want me to go. I tried to explain it would help me and I'd get to see my dad but she got mad and ANOTHER argument happened. The reason why summer is because it'll be so much easier to cope and to work on myself. I feel bad but I need to leave and once I get a chance, I'm running.

I don't want to stay like this and I don't want the life I'll have if I don't. Once I do I'm gonna work to better myself and get a job before I date again. I will never date another woman. But that's all. I'll update during summer so around June if I go through with it