i almost committed suicide in your absence.

I am so tired of crying every single night. So, I stood staring at myself in the mirror before I got into the shower. I debated whether or not to overdose on the anxiety medication I was prescribed a year ago but never started. Why should I keep trying when there is nothing to try for? Even after opening the bottle and nearly allowing myself to overdose, I got into the shower. Leaving the unopened bottle of pills to sit on the counter as I wash away the pain from my skin.

I told myself, "just take a shower. The pain will be gone by then,". But when I got out, I just felt numb. Too tired to die but too tired to live.

I almost committed suicide in your absence.