Fun Fact- Art's Harder to Do When Your Mind is Just Screwed Up

So I've been writing an album recently, and that has been going well

It's not exactly finished so much as it's gotten bigger- 

Similarly, I've been working on a pilot for a new show, been a writer for several other shows, and am in the process, though slow, of developing and creating my own show

ALL whilst I've been juggling the thought of writing a play every now and then

All of this, is complicated, however by one problem.

My emotional and mental stability has been so upset by problematic events in recent months, that I regularly do not consider myself fit to even do basic day to day stuff, let alone commit to all the new artistic ventures I've found myself entangled in.

I entered the business of creative writing as a hobby to get into another world, and later on used it to help deal with feelings of social isolation and general achievement-related inadequacies in myself. It helped to raise my confidence and self-esteem, whilst it also expanded my imagination and gave me something fun to do.

It allowed me to combine anything I've ever wanted with writing. Politics, history, comedy, romance, life, death- It all fit so well.

And then things got complicated. Writing jobs dried up. My pet projects were dying in eternal hiatuses in the sea of molasses that was development hell. My directive confidence in putting together and driving projects was shaken, and I've felt since then that I require collaborators to do anything, even writing scripts.

Most importantly, I tied up writing with past griefs and current struggles, and it all made it rather not so much fun to continue doing. It all just hurt too damn much to keep carrying on doing.

And so, I almost quit because of that. But the funny thing about a hobby/passion/line of work that you've been in for so long, since childhood, for half of your life, for nearly TEN BLOODY FUCKING YEARS, is that leaving it behind is not really all that easy. So, I didn't. 

I shifted instead to other things. Mainly music, but as of recent, I've thought about doing plays to fill the void of not working in my natural habitat of the indie animation community.

One way or another, I have returned to my life's foremost loved hobby.

It's tougher now though, and I know it. A fucked up mind can create stunning beauties, works of art that say something, command attention, stamp their impact and determine a direction of a field all in one fell sweep. It can also destroy an artist and their will to live.

Now I fall into that exact zone doing my current jobs. Just have to pick my poison and hope I make the right choice. All about taking chances and making changes in this industry of mine, at the end of the day.

I'm back where I think I truly belong- and I just hope to Jah, to God, to YHWH, that I've made the right decision- and that any of it will pay off

That's it, I guess

The time is gone, the blog is over, I think I'll soon have more to say