Internet Diary 26#

I’m really sorry for my last post, the bad thoughts got to me and I’m extremely lucky to have that dude not be here the day after I post that, I also had a adult to talk too. 

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I was looking through a cabinet filled of old papers today and I found a notebook, I opened it up and saw that I written about hating my body. It made realize how long I felt hate for my own body. 

I can’t remember when it all started, I felt it in my body that there was something wrong with it and my brain couldn’t stop obsessing over what I should be for myself to be happy.

My stomach hurts so bad right now and I can’t figure it out why because my stomach is hurting in a way that is normal for my anxiety.

Sadly I haven’t been talking to my boyfriend and I feel bad about it, he’s always in my thoughts but it’s so hard for me to go online to talk. 

Is it normal to have like one voice in your head and then talk to it like it’s another person after I ask a question or something, I could be like “is this normal, yea it is” and then without control say in my brain “maybe not but I can see why” afterwards. 

I also keep calling myself other names like it’s another person and I have to immediately stop myself from doing that.

Oh yeah 

When talking to myself like this it’s extremely common for the voice to interrupt each other. 

This might be completely normal but I really don’t know if it is and I feel crazy whenever I think about it. 

Alright, I’ll log off now for the night