Mother me

I’ve craved for your touch yet yours is the one I hate. I can’t stand you. I wish for someone to hold me and teach me things in a soft and gentle voice but all I hear are spikes in yours. You judge, you blame, you destroy, you hurt. 

A good mother must hurt and crush the soul of her little ones in order for them to be stronger. Why do I expect more from you? I need to be docile, i need to be the joy in your life, i need to be yours. I cannot disobey the one who forcefully grabbed me out of her womb. 

I loved who I thought you could be. I craved who you could be. But you’re a vicious creature with claws. I beg for you to hold me and caress me, all i get are cuts and bruises. 

You do things in the name of my own good yet show no compassion when my tears flow.

You love to play with my hair so much, you love pulling them as if i was just a doll to you. Are you a child? Maybe you are. How can a child teach another child how to grow ? I wonder if I can even say I love you back.