I miss you

I miss you even though you’re there, you were standing right next to me yet I couldn’t recognize you at all. A stranger in my house. Where are you? I keep asking myself the same question. Why does you not feel like you anymore. Why does your touch feel out of place. Every time I look into your eyes, the void seems to get bigger. It’s such a strange feeling. I don’t understand it. You’re there for me yet every we hug I feel like I’m holding air in my arms. I hate you for it. Why did you rob me of the person I love?! How could you turn into a stranger that doesn’t know how to hold me right. I know it’s not your fault, I know I’m selfish and self centered, but I do not care. I want the person i love the most to feel there again. Why do i miss you? You’re on that call with me, why do i have to miss you?! I miss someone that still exists. I mourn someone who still loves me. Yet nothing feels like love and you turned into a tired slob. I love you, I’m sorry for not being able to be there for you but you see I am a slob myself too. And we’ll probably make each other miserable. We’re both tired. I miss not being tired. I miss when you weren’t tired. When you had enough energy to reassure me, enough energy to hold me. I miss you.