2nd vent

whatever I do, they fuckin hate it. I hate this country. I hate people. I hate men. I hate males. I hate boys. I hate myself. I fuckin hate everything. I hate being controled by someone else. I wanna live my own life. you dont give a shit about my mental health huh? you dont even ask "how r u?", "ru ok?". cuz ur so fuckin SELFISH and u only think about urself huh? ur not my goddamn father bitch. every father I saw on the internet was so sweet and so nice about their kids. but YOU. YOU'VE NEVER BEEN NICE TO ME. yeah u ACT like ur such a good person or shit like that infront of person u know. but infront of me, ur just a fuckin monster. I hate that I have the same last name like u. I hate that I have ur blood, ur dna in my body. everybody in this family hate u bitch.

oh it doesnt mean my mother is good person. ofc hes horrible but I hate her sm. shes fuckin loud. everytime I saw her, she always fuckin scream at me. like its my damn fault. and thats y we fuckin fight every single time we met. she said she love me but she never show it. I fuckin know u dont even love me at all huh? u thought i love u? no bitch sike. I fuckin hate u. u never showed me what love is. then leave me? when I was fuckin 8? nobody in this family love u okay? literally nobody.

and ofc they hate me. yeah. I fuckin hate myself. I tried to k!ll myself 3 times but failed. I have guitar beside me and I dont even play them. even tho I learned how to play guitar past 2yrs.(I forgot how to play it) and uh yeah this is the shitty life Im living rn. I fuckin hate it sm.