conscious book review

so i want to talk about a book i read a while ago but i dont want to say what the book is. i think i should still talk about it. i think it is okay to talk about a book without saying anything personal only to the book since literature is art so i should talk about the feelings not the media itself. 

well i enojyed it, and i read it quickly. i went on a hike with two members of my family during one of the days i was reading it. i sat on a bench underneath a tree and read it for a while. it was windy, since i was on a mountain. there was a playground, a small one, nearby for the residents of the condominiums children. i thought about myself in reference to the book, and i wanted to have a life like the one in the book even though it ended with what should be seen as loss and pain. i must be jealousn of the main character. it was about adapting to life based on what you feel rather than abiding by thoe feelings of those that provided you with much of your lifes features. its like being a teenager, disobedience within what should be a necessity for obedience. i guess i relate to it, so the book was for me so many years after it was written. i dont know what to write anymore, but i want to keep writing. i want a life better than what i have now, and the character in this book got that, but then lost it. what i said originally is that i would want to gain a better life only to lose it. i still agree with that, as long as losing it meant becoming something entirely new and detached from what i was before. i want the loss to be complete, so all of what i was before in any way i could be aware of is gone. i want my awareness of what i was before to dissapear except in ways of feelings and various colors of warmth. i repeatedly want to write of other things than my feelings for the book, and i dont think i should. so i will stop rather than talk about other things.