King Neptune

I'm here, and probably will be here a lot more often, while I figure things out. It is a familiar refuge. 

So right now I'm a little stressed because I got accepted for a job, but it doesn't seem like anything to do with the job is going too well. I have to go to this mental health training course, and was apparently 'enrolled', but there is no way for me to log into the portal, and nobody is responding to my emails. On top of that, I had to get a police check done, but apparently there needs to be some manual approval and that hasn't been completed yet. I'm wondering, with the inconvenience of all this, and the two 8hr sessions + the mental health course taking up my time, if I should just quit. But I know that is a stupid thing to consider, when around 200 people applied and I am part of that final 10. I do have to remind myself, though, that if it is really all that bad, there isn't any shame in resigning, but I have no proof of the 'badness' yet.

I submitted my research proposal, as well as some awkward therapy roleplay videos, and today I have a paper open on my computer all about the Bayes Theorem. What I remember from last night is that Bayesian statistics work differently to regular Neyman/Fisher interpretations of p-value because there isn't as much attention given to 'error' (Type 1 and Type 2). That, and, Bayesian inference doesn't use confidence intervals. There is a strange part of all of this, where there can be minor differences in the scores you obtain from a Bayes Factor calculation, because of the way the whole system works. I'm sure whoever is reading this is bored to death, but this is good for my notes. If I am to put this in very simple language - we have two hypotheses, the null (nothing happens) and the alternative (things happen). When testing these hypotheses, we can be traditional (anything p=<0.05 is significant) or... Bayesian (works a little differently). I'm still learning.

Yesterday was good, if not a little surreal. I spent the morning up in Noble Hills (I didn't get to do my hike) helping my dad landscape a little on the ride-on lawnmower - which we jokingly call "the tractor". The mornings there are always vague and warm and beautiful, I usually toast some bagel thins, slather on Nutella, and make a piping hot coffee. I need to eat more fruit, I don't have enough nowadays. While watching "Lost Highway" the other evening, I challenged myself to eat a whole grapefruit. It was disgusting. I'm not sure why I run these experiments with myself. Anyhow, it was good up in those hills, the citrus trees are close to flowering, and I can see little olives and figs emerging all over the place.

Other things I can see emerging are these terrible puffball mushrooms filled with decay and brown dirt. I find it fun to dig them up with my shoe and kick them around like miniature soccer balls. There was a bit of a debate about whether they are edible or not, but I really assume not, unless 'edible' means you can eat it, but only once. The fire ban will be over soon - hello smores. Unfortunately not soon enough. Officially, we can probably light up the fire pit in two weeks. I have been waiting too long for this...

We drove back home via an alternative route yesterday too, visiting 'Two Rocks' where a massive discarded statue of King Neptune is. Around here, in the 80s I think, WA used to have a theme park of some sort, but obviously it wasn't interesting enough. And then after that, I traversed to my first book club meeting! The girl who runs it, I have never met in real life before this, but honest to god she was very sweet. It is very funny, I had a sort of intimidating impression from her, but she was soft-spoken and articulate with a very subtle English accent. A few people came along (not the biggest turnout) and we discussed Intermezzo over cocktails and ciders. My favourite comment from the afternoon was "Well, what if we swapped the genders of the main characters. Imagine a 22 year old chess genius girl with braces, and a 36 year old male event manager. Seems kind of creepy, right? But it is fine and provocative when it is the other way". I think it came across rather obviously that I don't tend to read this kind of book. I am deeper into neurology and nonfic as a whole.

Though, I am experiencing a very tender spot for "Queer" right now. I feel like I'm there. In a way that makes me feel almost ill and disembodied myself. I wish I could summon Burroughs from the grave. And also rewatch the film. I think I might be too demanding. Anyway, Bayesian inference, where was I...