how to cope with being a bad person

you are in a car speeding down the highway and no one is coming to save you. you are the car, and the driver, and the highway and the gas pedal and no one is coming to save you. you are the inevitable crash and the lamppost you bend with the force of it, the sparks at the impact. you are the seatbelt you unbuckled and the engine you revved. you are the friend begging you to slow down because no one is coming to save you. you are the brake you ignore and the cop car flagging you down to stop. no one is coming. no one will save you. yet as you speed towards your own undoing, all you can ask for is exactly that.

please, let someone come save me. why won’t anybody save me?