i get emotional over nostalgia

just this morning, i was sitting on my couch and just looking around my living room thinking about past events. i have good memory so i remembered a lot of things and i kind of got emotional. i wish i could relive those times and go back, mainly because i felt more happy back then and i didn't really have a care in the world. i felt this and thought i should write this down, might as well write it here. 

i remember in 2022, i was about 11-12 years old and i was so invested in the owl house, the show was still going on at the time so i was so hyped for season 3 to come out. i remember i wasn't allowed to have a phone because i was doing weird ass shit in 2021 and my parents found out. so i didn't have a phone at the time, so i deadass used my ps5 internet browser to go on discord and talk to my friends and my bf at the time. fucking crazy i know. he told me about the owl house and i was very interested and started watching and fell in love immediately. that was our main thing, the owl house. we both grew a stronger bond because of that show. i remember watching analysis and fan edits of the show on youtube and was so interested. i remember i had this ipad just hidden and would only use it at night because again wasn't allowed to have a phone at the time and just sit and watch owl house videos while i was home. i would even watch the shit when i would get home from school. it was such a great experience and i would do anything, and i mean ANYTHING to go back to that time.

i also remember back in 2021, i would wake up SUPER early in the morning, usually at around 5-6 am, just to watch movies and shows i was into back then. my dad saw me and asked me why i was up so early, i just told him that i just wanted to watch stuff before i left for school. speaking of that, i was a scholar back in 5th grade. i was so focused, mainly cause i didn't have shit going on but damn. i'm still kinda smart, usually getting As and Bs but back then i had all As, that's rare for me now. man, 5th grade was a really interesting year. i was learning stuff that 8th graders were learning and was doing so much advanced material. how'd i get dumber?

also in 2021 and 2022, i was really really in ytpmvs, if you don't know what they are, they're pretty much sampling whatever they wanted into whatever songs they wanted. it's hard to describe but just look them up on youtube, then you'll see. i was really into them, i don't know why but they always intrigued me. probably because they sounded cool. i wanted to learn how to do it, but again i didn't have anything at that time so i never learned, and most likely won't. shit looks too hard, i don't have time to learn that shit. it's still cool though.

and in 2021, specifically early 2021, and i guess late 2020 too. i was super SUPER into dream smp. i know, it's kinda embarrassing but damn that shit was crazy back then. i kinda miss it in a way, not all the fucking crazy people but just how fun it was. it was quarantine, we didn't have shit to do. i probably loved quarantine so much because i am very introverted. i dread going to school because i just hate being around people, don't know why. still this was a very very crazy time. i remember i met so much discord friends, and i know that sounds so dumb and cringy and weird, but it's true. some of these people i'm still friends with to this day. which is insane. i used to own this big ass server, it was named "quackity supremacy", i gave the ownership away and now it's deleted, so fuck me. but wow, this was a really fun server, and it's kinda how i got my first relationship. remember the guy i dated that got me into the owl house? yeah i met him through that server a year ago. fucking crazy. but i'm so sad that the server got deleted. there was so much memories i had in that server and stuff i wish i could go back to. i remember i had zoom meetings because we were doing online school, and i would always talk to my friends and wasn't doing shit during those zoom classes. it was such a good time man.

also, in 2022, i used to do so much minecraft live streams. i was actually super addicted to minecraft in all of 2022, don't know why but i was. it helped kill the time and i would just play minecraft all night while listening to bo burnham. that was really my life back in summer 2022. these streams were so dumb and one time i did a whole 12 hour stream, i REALLY has nothing to do back then. and during this 12 hour stream, and i am not fucking joking, the guy that i met through quackity supremacy, joined my stream AFTER A YEAR WITHOUT ANY CONTACT HE JUST JOINS MY STREAM AND STARTS TALKING IN CHAT. i froze and had no idea what to do, it was super awkward. i soon dm'd him on twitter and then he put on to the owl house. wow this guy was apart of my life for so many years. those streams were very fun though, i would like to start doing them again one day. maybe in the summer, not sure though.

i get super emotional when i rethink these memories. i just kinda wanna go back to them sometimes. i don't know why i get sad over nostalgia, i mean shit i'm only 14 and missing memories when i was 11. i think my life right now is fine but it's gonna be interesting when i get older and wish i could relive these times. i mean, it's only inevitable right?