Love, Hate, Minesweeper

Man, I love stupid little games like solitaire and minesweeper. It's like the digital version of the visual stimulation from playing with a cat. I think the only thing holding me together through this semester is minesweeper...

I had to read a book for physics called "A Mind for Numbers" and it explained the different types of learning states that your mind is usually in. I can't say I'm a big fan of the advice that the book gives but I do really love how everything was explained. Anyway, it said that it was good to take like breaks every now and then (which everyone knows) and I took that to heart... maybe not a good idea as having neurodivergencies ensure I become very one-track-minded about just about anything. I saw some person say that playing minesweeper helps keep you sharp, which is exactly  what I need as a, well, not that academically forward person (in the sense that I just need to "apply" myself). I hadn't touched the game in a long time so I decided to give it a go. Now I'm at the stage where if I have the right RNG, I can clear 10 mines in a little over 30 seconds. Obviously, it wasn't my intention to get tetris effect minesweeper but that's just how it happened and it makes me depressed. 

Don't get me wrong, I love being able to say I'm good at minesweeper and I do love the game. I simply don't like how it affirms my "I just don't wanna" mindset. It's become my distraction from organic chem 2 because of how accessible it is. I could also say a lot about how things are taught now but that's for another blog, I guess?

This "idk bout this game man..." thought up came one night when I was playing the game and honestly, it made me feel really guilty about playing the game after. So, basically, I was clearing the field, and then I noticed a flag and went "oh that's wrong duh that's just common sense". That thought was what got me. Honestly, I think what I'm feeling is a mix of shame of knowing I could do things if I actually tried.

I put a pause on this cuz I ran out of battery, and I was too busy, but I'm back now with an update! I think the minesweeper paid off LOLOL. I recently took my chem exam and I found myself actually making connections and making pretty educated guesses. Granted, it would be even better if I had really studied but I didn't have time leading up to it because there was an event I had been planning since last summer that happened literally the day the exam was due. Now that the event is over, I finally have time to study! I really hope I can use my time better now!