I’m scared for my life

I don’t wanna go to any public place, it feels like everyone is watching me and wanting me to be dead or murder.

This is so bad at school cause I know most people at the school I go to think I’m terrible for not fitting gender rolls, I know they just want me dead.

I can’t deal with it anymore, and I believe someone is actually out to get me for it. 

I have no one to protect me and I wish I could die so I won’t have to deal with this anymore.

I can’t stop lying to people about what I’m feeling and I know that.

If I could hurt myself on purpose I would but too bad I can’t because then I would be thrown back at square one when I had to talk to a mental health doctor wayyy back then because I did almost off myself.

It doesn’t even matter what gender I am, they just think it’s another reason as to why they should kill me.

I’m sorry for all my venting, I needto write down my thoughts somehow even though if I did do that it would stay with me.